Monday, March 27, 2017

Top 5 Best & Worst Lady Gaga Songs


Hi folks. I’ve been doing these lists for a while now, and I’ve covered many different years in pop music history. In doing this, however, I feel like I’m skipping over songs by artists that never even cracked the Hot 100 that might be really good, possibly better than anything of the artist’s that the general public ever got exposed to. So, I’ve decided to start new lists, these ones focusing on specific artists and tallying up their best and worst songs.
            Now, for these lists, I’ve decided to set ground rules. First, while I am including remixes of songs, I’ll only be including one version of the song per list, otherwise one list could just consist of different remixes of the same song. Second, I won’t be including live versions of songs because, with few exceptions, they’re generally not different from the studio version. Finally, I won’t include songs where the artist is only a feature; I’m only focusing on songs where the artist is the lead performer.
            Speaking of performers, let’s talk about Lady Gaga. While her prevalence in the mainstream has waned in recent years, when she first hit the scene, she was huge. She had a lot of shock value, but didn’t usually let that interfere with the quality of her material. In contrast to the pop princesses that came before, and even to other artists that came around the same time or after, she had a lot of talent in music and was not afraid to show it. So today we’re going to be looking at both ends of her musical spectrum, praising her highlights and shunning her low points. If you’re familiar with how I structure my lists, you should have already guessed that we’ll be starting at the bottom and working our way up from there.
            Get ready folks, because we’re about to show Mother Monster our love as revenge as we count down…

…THE TOP 5 WORST LADY GAGA SONGS!

            #5.

            When Lady Gaga first debuted in the pop music world, it was still up in the air whether she was an artist with a lot of creative, interesting ideas or a collection of pretentious masks covering an empty shell. Her first two albums seemed to indicate the former, but starting around her third album, ‘Artpop’, some noticeable problems began to surface. One of the most prominent was that she began releasing songs that she claimed were personal, but that the mainstream audience couldn’t connect with, such as this:
            #5. Swine [Artpop]
            Sometimes, an artist goes through a lot of psychological trauma and needs a chance to vent their feelings. There’s nothing wrong with this; performers are capable of creating good or at least interesting music just by drawing on inspiration from their personal experiences, both positive and negative. Unfortunately, I feel no sense of personal connection to this song, despite what Gaga has stated about it.
            According to Lady Gaga, the song is about rape, demoralization, rage, fury, passion and all the pain she wanted to release after being raped at 19 by a producer twice her age. I feel terrible about criticizing the expression or voice of a sexual abuse victim, but I honestly don’t feel most of those things in this song. It just sounds like Lady Gaga is repeatedly calling me a swine, which she has stated is apparently the worst thing you can call someone in Europe.
            On the instrumental side, this song’s not much better. Production-wise, it’s pretty much a remix of itself, and vocally Gaga sounds like she’s on autopilot. I’m not a huge fan of remixes to begin with, but when you create a song that’s already essentially just that, then it serves no purpose. Even most of the other songs off of ‘Artpop’ felt like complete songs rather than just reproduced versions of scrapped song ideas, which is how this feels.
            This placed low on the list because, as far as bad production ideas go, this isn’t terrible. Even if it sounds like just a rehash of a song that never got released, it at least has an almost consistent melody. We’ll be seeing much worse once we get further down the list, but until then, I guess Gaga calling me a swine isn’t inaccurate because after listening to this, I just feel dirty.
           
            #4.

            What kind of music do you think of when I say “Lady Gaga song”? Well, they tend to be big and theatrical, some take a lot of inspiration from the ‘80s, some make references to fame or the desire thereof, while others have explicitly sexual lyrics. You know what you don’t think of when you think of a Lady Gaga song? How about the theme song to a C-grade Disney children’s film?
            #4. Hello, Hello (w/ Elton John) [Gnomeo and Juliet (not featured on the album)]
            I realize this is kind of a stretch to call a Lady Gaga song since the version of this song from the album only features Elton John. I’m still counting it for this list though, since the version with Gaga is still featured in the film and she helped write the song. Though it does raise the question of why they didn’t include the version from the film on the album and instead used the solo version. If I had to venture a guess, I’d assume she didn’t want to be featured on the soundtrack out of shame because this song is just embarrassing.
            For starters, the lyrics are some of the most hackneyed lines one could imagine. The chorus actually features the line, “My, my, my, what have we here” and uses it unironically. Sure, that’s probably something you’d hear someone say in an old, badly written children’s story or something, but who talks like that in real life? Also, “Heading out to see the sights”? “Famous last lines of a fool”? “Something comes to tip you off your stool”? Oh gosh, oh golly gee, my fine friends, I do believe we have stumbled upon some most curious lyrical choices! Dearie me!
            Of course, the song’s biggest fault by far is the composition and instrumentation. Normally I think both Elton John and Lady Gaga are capable of making really impressively interesting songs when they’re on their “A” game. This twinkling snoozefest sounds like both artists were half asleep when they recorded it. Even Gaga’s performances on ‘Cheek to Cheek’ had some semblance of life in them. There’s no fire here, no emotional investment, no intrigue whatsoever; this is just boring.
            What especially sucks about this song was that the film it was featured on was released a few months before Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’. Up until this point, and even with the release of that album, she’d mostly been known for releasing these huge, bombastic numbers that had serious punch to them. This could have stood to be higher on this list, except that both it and the film it’s from have been pretty much swept under the rug at this point, so it’s not like it seriously affected her musical output. Even so, Lady Gaga, Elton John, both of you are better than this!

            #3.

            When Lady Gaga released the title track for ‘Born This Way’, it set the mood for the rest of the album. It was very heavily ‘80s inspired, it had a lot of explosive energy behind it and it highlighted just how awesome Lady Gaga was as a performer. Choosing an appropriate follow-up single to that would be quite a challenge, since there’s no way she could possibly top something like that in terms of self-indulgence and over-the-top antics. So, what did they decide to go with?
            #3. Judas [Born This Way]
            I already talked about this song on a previous list, so I’ll try not to repeat myself. With this one exception, I liked all the songs off of Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ to some degree. I think it’s a brilliant album that clearly demonstrates her love of music, and especially her love of the ‘80s. I hear none of that present in this song though; it just feels like a weak attempt to shock.
            Let’s start with the composition and production, shall we? I’ve touched on how the song blatantly copies the formulas of ‘Poker Face’ and ‘Bad Romance’ before, but that by itself doesn’t make the song bad. It makes it uninspired and disappointing though, and the electro house sound it goes for just isn’t the right fit for Gaga. Apparently I’m not the only one that thought so, because every time it gets to the chorus it drops it for this stiff, generic pop sound that also doesn’t suit her.
            Then there’s the lyrics, which attempt to paint a dark, twisted image of a romance with a man that has betrayed the narrator, yet she keeps going back to him. I realize Lady Gaga’s music isn’t exactly presenting positive messages to begin with, but is this really the kind of love she wants to present as desirable? The message of the song is basically, “I love this man and will clean him, worship him and shower him in my affection even when he lies to me, betrays me and gives me every reason to leave him.” That’s not romantic; that’s disturbing; you’re basically begging for an abusive relationship!
            This was the only song on this list to actually become a hit, but I’m glad it disappeared soon afterwards. As far as romance with monster songs go, it’s not quite as bad as Katy Perry’s ‘E.T.’, but it’s still well below par in terms of Gaga’s usual output. This is one bad romance I want no part of.

            #2.

            Speaking of songs about bad romances…
            #2. Poker Face (Space Cowboy Remix) [The Remix (Japan Track List)] 
            I wanted to minimize the number of remixes I included on this list because it’s not generally Lady Gaga’s fault that the remixes are bad. That said I just hate this one in particular. She’s worked with Space Cowboy on songs before and they’ve turned out fine. Yet, for some reason, his remixes just don’t seem to turn out well.
I’m not even a huge fan of the original ‘Poker Face’, but I will concede that I thought the song was decent, and certainly a demonstration of Gaga’s musical chops. It was catchy, its lyrics were memorable and its chorus was iconic. Also, it had her working with RedOne, who is part of the reason she got as big as she did when she started out.
Space Cowboy, however, seemed to decide that it needed more for his remix. For example, he added an unnecessary minute-long intro that serves no purpose except to establish that it’s the Space Cowboy remix. On top of that, he threw in various unpleasant sound effects, such as what sounds like a clown horn, an ambulance siren, gunshots and some kind of water sound effect that repeats for various lengthy periods throughout the song. Considering the subject matter of the song, I can’t help but feel like that either represents someone getting water boarded or…releasing. Gross dude.
I didn’t think it was possible to take a song like ‘Poker Face’ and make it dirtier, but Space Cowboy pulled it off. I feel like I need to take a long shower after listening to this. Despite this though, there was still one song worse. What could it possibly be? Let’s take a look.

            #1.

            I’m not usually a fan of remixes. Often times they miss the point of the original song and desecrate something that was already fine as it was. Some remixes can improve on the original, but they’re few and far between. More often than not, you end up with cases where the song sounds pretty much the same but with a dance beat over it, or with a rap verse added in that serves no purpose. At worst though…
            #1. LoveGame (Space Cowboy Remix) [The Remix (Japan Track List)]
            In my opinion, the worst offense a remix can commit is to take a good or even okay song and make it sound nothing like itself. I can’t think of any other way to describe what happened with this song though. ‘LoveGame’ wasn’t exactly a top-tier Lady Gaga song to begin with, but at least it sounded like something she would make. None of these things can be said of this deformed, brain dead remake.
            For starters, there’s the production. This version sounds absolutely nothing like the original song; it sounds more like what you’d hear out of a haunted fun house or a bad porno. In addition, it includes almost none of the original song in it whatsoever, save for one line: “Let’s have some fun/This beat is sick/I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”. In its defense, it’s not like anyone remembers any other lyrics from ‘LoveGame’.
            Worse yet, though, is Gaga herself. Her vocal performance here is somehow even less invested than any of the other songs I’ve listed so far by a long margin. This is especially true of the one new line that was added to this version of the song: “Has anybody seen my disco stick”. Between Gaga’s half-drunk performance and the vocal pops that are clearly audible at the end of that line, I want to put this song through a paper shredder.
            This doesn’t even sound like a song; it sounds like a bad internet meme, one that should disappear from the depths of the internet and never surface again. No, worse, it’s more like the soundtrack that would be played over one of those Vine videos, and this was before Vine was even a thing. Space Cowboy, Lady Gaga, shame on both of you for making this!
            Gee, this is kind of a sour note to end on. So I think it’s only fair that we now give Gaga that thing that she loves, put our hands up and make them touch as we count down…

…THE TOP 5 BEST LADY GAGA SONGS!

            #5.

            One recurring theme that appears in a lot of Lady Gaga’s music is her relationship with fame and everything that comes with it. This was especially true of ‘The Fame’ and ‘Artpop’ with the former being about how much she desires fame and the latter expressing how awesome she feels now that she’s famous. However, her most recent album, ‘Joanne’ also explores her fame to some degree, especially with this song:
            #5. Million Reasons [Joanne]
            With the number of big, dramatic pop songs she’s released over the course of her career, I guess it’s hard to think of Lady Gaga as a slower, more confessional songwriter like Pink. Still, I think she pulls it off with this song. She’s written ballads prior to this song, and some were pretty good, but it’s this song that really takes the cake as far as I’m concerned.
            On the surface, it seems like the song is about a relationship, with Gaga saying that she’s being given “a million reasons” to just give up on it. She’s trying to find something positive, just one good thing to keep her invested. In the context of the album, however, it becomes clear that this song is about her relationship, not with a person, but with the mainstream. It raises the question of whether she should consider herself still a part of the pop music world at a time when she’s drifting further away from it.
            As for the instrumentation and production, it matches the uncertainty and frustration expressed in the lyrics. It’s pretty barebones, being driven primarily by acoustic guitar and piano. I’ve stated that I’m not a fan of white chick with piano songs, but even I have to concede that it works here. The minimalist approach is the right choice for this song; it keeps it from overpowering Lady Gaga’s vocals, with this being probably one of her most powerful vocal performances of her career. It’s a clear sign of how, in some cases, less is more.
            I’m not going to die defending all of the songs off of ‘Joanne’. At the end of the day, it wasn’t her best album, and she’s certainly done better. If more of the songs were like this one though, I’d be more inclined to say otherwise. ‘Artpop’ and ‘Cheek to Cheek’ might have given us all the reasons we needed to walk out on Gaga, but this one song is reason enough to stay.

            #4.

            Back when she was starting out, Lady Gaga released a number of songs about the corruption of the concept of love; ‘Poker Face’, ‘LoveGame’, ‘Paparazzi’ and ‘Bad Romance’ being the big singles everyone remembers that did so. Considering she portrayed herself as something of a monster of a human being in songs such as these, it’s easy to see how some people would be disturbed by her persona. Those people must’ve considered it a breath of fresh air when she released a song that put her on the receiving end.
            #4. Monster [The Fame Monster]
            ‘Monster’ is the underappreciated gem from ‘The Fame Monster’. ‘Bad Romance’ might be one of her signature songs, but this is the one that truly highlighted her best work from that EP. It’s a shame it was never released as a single, though this just shows why one shouldn’t restrict themselves to an artist’s singles when listening through their discography.
            Lyrically, it’s unique among Gaga’s early work, since it puts her in a position of weakness. Her other songs from this time might’ve implied vulnerability, but there was that unspoken understanding that she was still the one in control. She has none of that here though; this isn’t a relationship she could escape from anytime she wanted. She’s afraid of this man she sings about, but she’s still drawn to him. Take some notes from yourself, Gaga: this is what ‘Judas’ should have been!
            Another way in which this song differs from Gaga’s early work is in the production. It was handled by RedOne, and that is only a plus as far as I’m concerned. What makes it different is the tightness of it all. This might be one of the most controlled atmospheres I’ve ever heard in a Lady Gaga song, yet it still meshes well with the uncomfortable, uneasy tone.
            I’m partially of the opinion that ‘The Fame Monster’ was kind of overrated. Most of the songs from that EP were not particularly great, even if some of them were at least good. That said there are still some songs I’d recommend from it, with this being right at the top of that list. It’s an awesome song from Gaga’s early period at its finest.

            #3.

            One of the big themes from Lady Gaga’s third album, ‘Artpop’ was the reveling in the art world excesses that come from being a famous artist. Unfortunately, this doesn’t exactly come across as something that could sustain itself as being all that enjoyable for very long, especially considering that most of the mainstream music-listening public will likely never experience that world ever in their entire lives. Fortunately, as the album approached its end, it started to present songs that revealed how unfulfilling it can be to live in that world all the time.
            #3. Gypsy [Artpop]
            It was a toss up between including this song or ‘Dope’, and ultimately I went with the former. That’s not to say I think ‘Dope’ is a bad song. It just didn’t offer a lifeline of optimism to counterbalance its bleakness like ‘Gypsy’ does.
            In terms of its production, it starts out seeming like a sad power ballad on piano. Then it reaches the chorus and the synths and drum machines kick in and it soars to life by the time it reaches the peak of its climax at the end of the hook, and it is glorious. This song’s been compared to a previous Lady Gaga song, ‘The Edge of Glory’, and I can definitely see the similarities. Even so, this song definitely stands out in its own right just because unlike that song ‘Gypsy’ offers more of a contrast between the verses and the chorus.
            Speaking of contrast, let’s look at the lyrics. The song describes how Gaga feels alone, isolated from the world despite her travels and seeing so many different people. She doesn’t want to feel this way, but is willing to endure the loneliness for the time being. She has stated that ‘Gypsy’ is ‘Artpop’s most personal song, and represents how she feels at home when she’s with her fans. It certainly feels more personal than the rest of the album did.
            Considering how uneven the album was, I’m surprised that it managed to produce a song this good. When people talk about the best tracks from ‘Artpop’ the one that usually comes to mind is ‘Do What U Want’. I can understand why, but I feel like that song’s kind of ruined by R. Kelly’s verse, which completely misses the point of the song. ‘Gypsy’ doesn’t suffer from that problem though, and it’s that much better for it.

            #2.

            Now then ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the song that started it all:
            #2. Just Dance (ft. Colby O’Donis) [The Fame]
            The songs most people think of when they consider Lady Gaga’s early work tend to be her stranger ones, like ‘Poker Face’ or ‘Bad Romance’. That’s understandable; those songs really stood out compared to other music on the radio at the time, and they served to establish her persona more than her other works did. With that in mind, I think it only fair that credit be given where it’s due and that we acknowledge her first hit single, which is probably one of the most normal-sounding songs she’s ever released.
            On a lyrical level, ‘Just Dance’ is about a great night turning into a bad one. The narrator’s drunk a little too much, she’s pretty much a train wreck, and she’s about to make some stupid decisions like hooking up with random strangers. For the moment though, everything’s okay and she’s just going to let out all her inhibitions and give herself into the one thing she has at this very moment: the ability to dance her cares away.
            The tone of the song certainly matches the subject matter, what with its happy, upbeat sound over an undercurrent of craziness and lack of control. That breakdown right before the final chorus probably hits closer to home for the alcoholics out there than they’d like to admit. If there’s one complaint I have about this song, it’s the guest verse from Colby O’Donis, who just isn’t on the same page at all. This song might’ve had a shot at being the #1 for this list if not for him.
            Lady Gaga has stated that this song saved her life. At the time she wrote it, she was in a pretty dark point in her life: depressed and constantly at the bar. She wrote the song with producer RedOne in about ten minutes, and has stated that it’s meant for people going through rough times. The demented optimism of the song certainly reflects that, and I feel like most people enjoy a good, desperate party song over the generic club jams that were coming out around this time. This is one dance that I’d be happy to drink myself into taking.

            #1.

            I didn’t really need to ponder too much regarding which song would be my #1 for this list. I knew this spot would have to go to a song that just blew me away, a song that inspired awe in me. Coming from Lady Gaga, it would have to be a song that demonstrated all of her strengths as a performer and didn’t solely rely on shock value or bizarre language shifts or nonsense words and just delivered honest-to-God great music. Taking all that into account, there was only one song that could possibly be the #1.
            #1. The Edge of Glory [Born This Way]
            If there’s anything to be taken from Lady Gaga’s songs, it’s that she loves making music. This could be seen as the general message behind ‘Born This Way’, which had a number of songs celebrating her life and the music she’s come to associate with it. When I wrote my best of 2011 list, I placed this song on there, and I stand by that decision. That said I’ll try to avoid repeating myself as best I can for this list.
             Let’s look at the production for this record. Gaga produced it, along with all the other songs off of ‘Born This Way’, but this song also saw some work from Grammy winning super producer, songwriter, DJ, entrepreneur and speaker Fernando Garibay. He’s done work for a number of artists, including Enrique Iglesias, The Paradiso Girls and Natalia Kills. I’m mostly familiar with his work on Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ album, but this is by far his best production on that album, with all the elements serving to add to the atmosphere, building up at all the right points and delivering explosive payoffs right when they need to.
            Of course, the production is one thing, but it hardly makes much of a difference if the main artist can’t match it with a recognizable personality or incredible singing chops. Fortunately, Lady Gaga brought both of these things to the table on this song. This is easily the best she’s ever sounded, presenting a melody that’s powerful, emotional and catchy all at once. The lyrics bring up subjects such as death and feeling like one’s succeeded at life, with such lines as “I’m on the edge of something final we call life tonight” and “I’m on the edge of glory/And I’m hanging on this moment with you”.
            Lady Gaga might not have released a song quite as good as this since, but the fact that she’s managed to consistently have good songs on each of her albums just goes to show what a great artist she is. It’s a shame that she’s declined so much in terms of mainstream success, because she’s very much the benchmark in terms of quality pop songs. Maybe she’ll have a comeback at some point and see further success. Until then, we still at least have this song. Gaga, you might be on the edge of glory, but we’re all hanging on that moment with you. 

1 comment:

  1. I am all game for anything and everything lady gaga all the time! absolutely love her! she is a creative genius! Thanks for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete