Hi folks. I’ve been doing
these lists for a while now, and I’ve covered many different years in pop music
history. In doing this, however, I feel like I’m skipping over songs by artists
that never even cracked the Hot 100 that might be really good, possibly better
than anything of the artist’s that the general public ever got exposed to. So,
I’ve decided to start new lists, these ones focusing on specific artists and
tallying up their best and worst songs.
Now,
for these lists, I’ve decided to set ground rules. First, while I am including
remixes of songs, I’ll only be including one version of the song per list,
otherwise one list could just consist of different remixes of the same song.
Second, I won’t be including live versions of songs because, with few
exceptions, they’re generally not different from the studio version. Finally, I
won’t include songs where the artist is only a feature; I’m only focusing on
songs where the artist is the lead performer.
Speaking
of performers, let’s talk about Lady Gaga. While her prevalence in the
mainstream has waned in recent years, when she first hit the scene, she was
huge. She had a lot of shock value, but didn’t usually let that interfere with
the quality of her material. In contrast to the pop princesses that came
before, and even to other artists that came around the same time or after, she
had a lot of talent in music and was not afraid to show it. So today we’re
going to be looking at both ends of her musical spectrum, praising her
highlights and shunning her low points. If you’re familiar with how I structure
my lists, you should have already guessed that we’ll be starting at the bottom
and working our way up from there.
Get
ready folks, because we’re about to show Mother Monster our love as revenge as
we count down…
…THE TOP 5 WORST LADY
GAGA SONGS!
#5.
When
Lady Gaga first debuted in the pop music world, it was still up in the air
whether she was an artist with a lot of creative, interesting ideas or a
collection of pretentious masks covering an empty shell. Her first two albums
seemed to indicate the former, but starting around her third album, ‘Artpop’,
some noticeable problems began to surface. One of the most prominent was that
she began releasing songs that she claimed were personal, but that the
mainstream audience couldn’t connect with, such as this:
#5. Swine [Artpop]
Sometimes,
an artist goes through a lot of psychological trauma and needs a chance to vent
their feelings. There’s nothing wrong with this; performers are capable of
creating good or at least interesting music just by drawing on inspiration from
their personal experiences, both positive and negative. Unfortunately, I feel
no sense of personal connection to this song, despite what Gaga has stated
about it.
According
to Lady Gaga, the song is about rape, demoralization, rage, fury, passion and
all the pain she wanted to release after being raped at 19 by a producer twice
her age. I feel terrible about criticizing the expression or voice of a sexual
abuse victim, but I honestly don’t feel most of those things in this song. It
just sounds like Lady Gaga is repeatedly calling me a swine, which she has
stated is apparently the worst thing you can call someone in Europe.
On
the instrumental side, this song’s not much better. Production-wise, it’s
pretty much a remix of itself, and vocally Gaga sounds like she’s on autopilot.
I’m not a huge fan of remixes to begin with, but when you create a song that’s
already essentially just that, then it serves no purpose. Even most of the
other songs off of ‘Artpop’ felt like complete songs rather than just
reproduced versions of scrapped song ideas, which is how this feels.
This
placed low on the list because, as far as bad production ideas go, this isn’t
terrible. Even if it sounds like just a rehash of a song that never got
released, it at least has an almost consistent melody. We’ll be seeing much
worse once we get further down the list, but until then, I guess Gaga calling
me a swine isn’t inaccurate because after listening to this, I just feel dirty.
#4.
What
kind of music do you think of when I say “Lady Gaga song”? Well, they tend to
be big and theatrical, some take a lot of inspiration from the ‘80s, some make
references to fame or the desire thereof, while others have explicitly sexual
lyrics. You know what you don’t think of when you think of a Lady Gaga song?
How about the theme song to a C-grade Disney children’s film?
#4. Hello, Hello (w/ Elton John) [Gnomeo and
Juliet (not featured on the album)]
I
realize this is kind of a stretch to call a Lady Gaga song since the version of
this song from the album only features Elton John. I’m still counting it for
this list though, since the version with Gaga is still featured in the film and
she helped write the song. Though it does raise the question of why they didn’t
include the version from the film on the album and instead used the solo
version. If I had to venture a guess, I’d assume she didn’t want to be featured
on the soundtrack out of shame because this song is just embarrassing.
For
starters, the lyrics are some of the most hackneyed lines one could imagine.
The chorus actually features the line, “My, my, my, what have we here” and uses
it unironically. Sure, that’s probably something you’d hear someone say in an
old, badly written children’s story or something, but who talks like that in
real life? Also, “Heading out to see the sights”? “Famous last lines of a
fool”? “Something comes to tip you off your stool”? Oh gosh, oh golly gee, my
fine friends, I do believe we have stumbled upon some most curious lyrical
choices! Dearie me!
Of
course, the song’s biggest fault by far is the composition and instrumentation.
Normally I think both Elton John and Lady Gaga are capable of making really
impressively interesting songs when they’re on their “A” game. This twinkling
snoozefest sounds like both artists were half asleep when they recorded it.
Even Gaga’s performances on ‘Cheek to Cheek’ had some semblance of life in
them. There’s no fire here, no emotional investment, no intrigue whatsoever;
this is just boring.
What
especially sucks about this song was that the film it was featured on was
released a few months before Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’. Up until this point,
and even with the release of that album, she’d mostly been known for releasing
these huge, bombastic numbers that had serious punch to them. This could have
stood to be higher on this list, except that both it and the film it’s from
have been pretty much swept under the rug at this point, so it’s not like it
seriously affected her musical output. Even so, Lady Gaga, Elton John, both of
you are better than this!
#3.
When
Lady Gaga released the title track for ‘Born This Way’, it set the mood for the
rest of the album. It was very heavily ‘80s inspired, it had a lot of explosive
energy behind it and it highlighted just how awesome Lady Gaga was as a
performer. Choosing an appropriate follow-up single to that would be quite a
challenge, since there’s no way she could possibly top something like that in
terms of self-indulgence and over-the-top antics. So, what did they decide to
go with?
#3. Judas [Born This Way]
I
already talked about this song on a previous list, so I’ll try not to repeat
myself. With this one exception, I liked all the songs off of Lady Gaga’s ‘Born
This Way’ to some degree. I think it’s a brilliant album that clearly
demonstrates her love of music, and especially her love of the ‘80s. I hear
none of that present in this song though; it just feels like a weak attempt to
shock.
Let’s
start with the composition and production, shall we? I’ve touched on how the
song blatantly copies the formulas of ‘Poker Face’ and ‘Bad Romance’ before,
but that by itself doesn’t make the song bad. It makes it uninspired and
disappointing though, and the electro house sound it goes for just isn’t the
right fit for Gaga. Apparently I’m not the only one that thought so, because
every time it gets to the chorus it drops it for this stiff, generic pop sound
that also doesn’t suit her.
Then
there’s the lyrics, which attempt to paint a dark, twisted image of a romance
with a man that has betrayed the narrator, yet she keeps going back to him. I
realize Lady Gaga’s music isn’t exactly presenting positive messages to begin
with, but is this really the kind of love she wants to present as desirable?
The message of the song is basically, “I love this man and will clean him,
worship him and shower him in my affection even when he lies to me, betrays me
and gives me every reason to leave him.” That’s not romantic; that’s disturbing;
you’re basically begging for an abusive relationship!
This
was the only song on this list to actually become a hit, but I’m glad it
disappeared soon afterwards. As far as romance with monster songs go, it’s not
quite as bad as Katy Perry’s ‘E.T.’, but it’s still well below par in terms of
Gaga’s usual output. This is one bad romance I want no part of.
#2.
Speaking
of songs about bad romances…
#2. Poker Face (Space Cowboy Remix) [The
Remix (Japan Track List)]
I
wanted to minimize the number of remixes I included on this list because it’s
not generally Lady Gaga’s fault that the remixes are bad. That said I just hate
this one in particular. She’s worked with Space Cowboy on songs before and
they’ve turned out fine. Yet, for some reason, his remixes just don’t seem to
turn out well.
I’m not
even a huge fan of the original ‘Poker Face’, but I will concede that I thought
the song was decent, and certainly a demonstration of Gaga’s musical chops. It
was catchy, its lyrics were memorable and its chorus was iconic. Also, it had
her working with RedOne, who is part of the reason she got as big as she did
when she started out.
Space
Cowboy, however, seemed to decide that it needed more for his remix. For
example, he added an unnecessary minute-long intro that serves no purpose
except to establish that it’s the Space Cowboy remix. On top of that, he threw
in various unpleasant sound effects, such as what sounds like a clown horn, an
ambulance siren, gunshots and some kind of water sound effect that repeats for
various lengthy periods throughout the song. Considering the subject matter of
the song, I can’t help but feel like that either represents someone getting
water boarded or…releasing. Gross dude.
I didn’t
think it was possible to take a song like ‘Poker Face’ and make it dirtier, but
Space Cowboy pulled it off. I feel like I need to take a long shower after
listening to this. Despite this though, there was still one song worse. What
could it possibly be? Let’s take a look.
#1.
I’m
not usually a fan of remixes. Often times they miss the point of the original
song and desecrate something that was already fine as it was. Some remixes can
improve on the original, but they’re few and far between. More often than not,
you end up with cases where the song sounds pretty much the same but with a
dance beat over it, or with a rap verse added in that serves no purpose. At
worst though…
#1. LoveGame (Space Cowboy Remix) [The Remix
(Japan Track List)]
In
my opinion, the worst offense a remix can commit is to take a good or even okay
song and make it sound nothing like itself. I can’t think of any other way to
describe what happened with this song though. ‘LoveGame’ wasn’t exactly a
top-tier Lady Gaga song to begin with, but at least it sounded like something
she would make. None of these things can be said of this deformed, brain dead
remake.
For
starters, there’s the production. This version sounds absolutely nothing like
the original song; it sounds more like what you’d hear out of a haunted fun
house or a bad porno. In addition, it includes almost none of the original song
in it whatsoever, save for one line: “Let’s have some fun/This beat is sick/I
wanna take a ride on your disco stick”. In its defense, it’s not like anyone
remembers any other lyrics from ‘LoveGame’.
Worse
yet, though, is Gaga herself. Her vocal performance here is somehow even less
invested than any of the other songs I’ve listed so far by a long margin. This
is especially true of the one new line that was added to this version of the
song: “Has anybody seen my disco stick”. Between Gaga’s half-drunk performance
and the vocal pops that are clearly audible at the end of that line, I want to
put this song through a paper shredder.
This
doesn’t even sound like a song; it sounds like a bad internet meme, one that
should disappear from the depths of the internet and never surface again. No,
worse, it’s more like the soundtrack that would be played over one of those
Vine videos, and this was before Vine was even a thing. Space Cowboy, Lady
Gaga, shame on both of you for making this!
Gee,
this is kind of a sour note to end on. So I think it’s only fair that we now
give Gaga that thing that she loves, put our hands up and make them touch as we
count down…
…THE TOP 5 BEST LADY GAGA
SONGS!
#5.
One
recurring theme that appears in a lot of Lady Gaga’s music is her relationship
with fame and everything that comes with it. This was especially true of ‘The
Fame’ and ‘Artpop’ with the former being about how much she desires fame and
the latter expressing how awesome she feels now that she’s famous. However, her
most recent album, ‘Joanne’ also explores her fame to some degree, especially
with this song:
#5. Million Reasons [Joanne]
With
the number of big, dramatic pop songs she’s released over the course of her
career, I guess it’s hard to think of Lady Gaga as a slower, more confessional
songwriter like Pink. Still, I think she pulls it off with this song. She’s
written ballads prior to this song, and some were pretty good, but it’s this
song that really takes the cake as far as I’m concerned.
On
the surface, it seems like the song is about a relationship, with Gaga saying
that she’s being given “a million reasons” to just give up on it. She’s trying
to find something positive, just one good thing to keep her invested. In the
context of the album, however, it becomes clear that this song is about her
relationship, not with a person, but with the mainstream. It raises the
question of whether she should consider herself still a part of the pop music
world at a time when she’s drifting further away from it.
As
for the instrumentation and production, it matches the uncertainty and
frustration expressed in the lyrics. It’s pretty barebones, being driven
primarily by acoustic guitar and piano. I’ve stated that I’m not a fan of white
chick with piano songs, but even I have to concede that it works here. The
minimalist approach is the right choice for this song; it keeps it from
overpowering Lady Gaga’s vocals, with this being probably one of her most
powerful vocal performances of her career. It’s a clear sign of how, in some
cases, less is more.
I’m
not going to die defending all of the songs off of ‘Joanne’. At the end of the
day, it wasn’t her best album, and she’s certainly done better. If more of the
songs were like this one though, I’d be more inclined to say otherwise.
‘Artpop’ and ‘Cheek to Cheek’ might have given us all the reasons we needed to
walk out on Gaga, but this one song is reason enough to stay.
#4.
Back
when she was starting out, Lady Gaga released a number of songs about the
corruption of the concept of love; ‘Poker Face’, ‘LoveGame’, ‘Paparazzi’ and
‘Bad Romance’ being the big singles everyone remembers that did so. Considering
she portrayed herself as something of a monster of a human being in songs such
as these, it’s easy to see how some people would be disturbed by her persona.
Those people must’ve considered it a breath of fresh air when she released a
song that put her on the receiving end.
#4. Monster [The Fame Monster]
‘Monster’
is the underappreciated gem from ‘The Fame Monster’. ‘Bad Romance’ might be one
of her signature songs, but this is the one that truly highlighted her best
work from that EP. It’s a shame it was never released as a single, though this
just shows why one shouldn’t restrict themselves to an artist’s singles when
listening through their discography.
Lyrically,
it’s unique among Gaga’s early work, since it puts her in a position of
weakness. Her other songs from this time might’ve implied vulnerability, but
there was that unspoken understanding that she was still the one in control.
She has none of that here though; this isn’t a relationship she could escape
from anytime she wanted. She’s afraid of this man she sings about, but she’s still
drawn to him. Take some notes from yourself, Gaga: this is what ‘Judas’ should
have been!
Another
way in which this song differs from Gaga’s early work is in the production. It
was handled by RedOne, and that is only a plus as far as I’m concerned. What
makes it different is the tightness of it all. This might be one of the most
controlled atmospheres I’ve ever heard in a Lady Gaga song, yet it still meshes
well with the uncomfortable, uneasy tone.
I’m
partially of the opinion that ‘The Fame Monster’ was kind of overrated. Most of
the songs from that EP were not particularly great, even if some of them were
at least good. That said there are still some songs I’d recommend from it, with
this being right at the top of that list. It’s an awesome song from Gaga’s
early period at its finest.
#3.
One
of the big themes from Lady Gaga’s third album, ‘Artpop’ was the reveling in
the art world excesses that come from being a famous artist. Unfortunately,
this doesn’t exactly come across as something that could sustain itself as
being all that enjoyable for very long, especially considering that most of the
mainstream music-listening public will likely never experience that world ever
in their entire lives. Fortunately, as the album approached its end, it started
to present songs that revealed how unfulfilling it can be to live in that world
all the time.
#3. Gypsy [Artpop]
It
was a toss up between including this song or ‘Dope’, and ultimately I went with
the former. That’s not to say I think ‘Dope’ is a bad song. It just didn’t
offer a lifeline of optimism to counterbalance its bleakness like ‘Gypsy’ does.
In
terms of its production, it starts out seeming like a sad power ballad on
piano. Then it reaches the chorus and the synths and drum machines kick in and
it soars to life by the time it reaches the peak of its climax at the end of
the hook, and it is glorious. This song’s been compared to a previous Lady Gaga
song, ‘The Edge of Glory’, and I can definitely see the similarities. Even so,
this song definitely stands out in its own right just because unlike that song
‘Gypsy’ offers more of a contrast between the verses and the chorus.
Speaking
of contrast, let’s look at the lyrics. The song describes how Gaga feels alone,
isolated from the world despite her travels and seeing so many different
people. She doesn’t want to feel this way, but is willing to endure the
loneliness for the time being. She has stated that ‘Gypsy’ is ‘Artpop’s most
personal song, and represents how she feels at home when she’s with her fans.
It certainly feels more personal than the rest of the album did.
Considering
how uneven the album was, I’m surprised that it managed to produce a song this
good. When people talk about the best tracks from ‘Artpop’ the one that usually
comes to mind is ‘Do What U Want’. I can understand why, but I feel like that
song’s kind of ruined by R. Kelly’s verse, which completely misses the point of
the song. ‘Gypsy’ doesn’t suffer from that problem though, and it’s that much
better for it.
#2.
Now
then ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the song that started it all:
#2. Just Dance (ft. Colby O’Donis) [The
Fame]
The
songs most people think of when they consider Lady Gaga’s early work tend to be
her stranger ones, like ‘Poker Face’ or ‘Bad Romance’. That’s understandable;
those songs really stood out compared to other music on the radio at the time,
and they served to establish her persona more than her other works did. With
that in mind, I think it only fair that credit be given where it’s due and that
we acknowledge her first hit single, which is probably one of the most
normal-sounding songs she’s ever released.
On
a lyrical level, ‘Just Dance’ is about a great night turning into a bad one.
The narrator’s drunk a little too much, she’s pretty much a train wreck, and
she’s about to make some stupid decisions like hooking up with random
strangers. For the moment though, everything’s okay and she’s just going to let
out all her inhibitions and give herself into the one thing she has at this
very moment: the ability to dance her cares away.
The
tone of the song certainly matches the subject matter, what with its happy,
upbeat sound over an undercurrent of craziness and lack of control. That
breakdown right before the final chorus probably hits closer to home for the
alcoholics out there than they’d like to admit. If there’s one complaint I have
about this song, it’s the guest verse from Colby O’Donis, who just isn’t on the
same page at all. This song might’ve had a shot at being the #1 for this list
if not for him.
Lady
Gaga has stated that this song saved her life. At the time she wrote it, she
was in a pretty dark point in her life: depressed and constantly at the bar.
She wrote the song with producer RedOne in about ten minutes, and has stated
that it’s meant for people going through rough times. The demented optimism of
the song certainly reflects that, and I feel like most people enjoy a good,
desperate party song over the generic club jams that were coming out around
this time. This is one dance that I’d be happy to drink myself into taking.
#1.
I
didn’t really need to ponder too much regarding which song would be my #1 for
this list. I knew this spot would have to go to a song that just blew me away,
a song that inspired awe in me. Coming from Lady Gaga, it would have to be a
song that demonstrated all of her strengths as a performer and didn’t solely
rely on shock value or bizarre language shifts or nonsense words and just
delivered honest-to-God great music. Taking all that into account, there was
only one song that could possibly be the #1.
#1. The Edge of Glory [Born This Way]
If
there’s anything to be taken from Lady Gaga’s songs, it’s that she loves making
music. This could be seen as the general message behind ‘Born This Way’, which
had a number of songs celebrating her life and the music she’s come to
associate with it. When I wrote my best of 2011 list, I placed this song on
there, and I stand by that decision. That said I’ll try to avoid repeating
myself as best I can for this list.
Let’s look at the production for this
record. Gaga produced it, along with all the other songs off of ‘Born This
Way’, but this song also saw some work from Grammy winning super producer,
songwriter, DJ, entrepreneur and speaker Fernando Garibay. He’s done work for a
number of artists, including Enrique Iglesias, The Paradiso Girls and Natalia
Kills. I’m mostly familiar with his work on Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ album,
but this is by far his best production on that album, with all the elements
serving to add to the atmosphere, building up at all the right points and
delivering explosive payoffs right when they need to.
Of
course, the production is one thing, but it hardly makes much of a difference
if the main artist can’t match it with a recognizable personality or incredible
singing chops. Fortunately, Lady Gaga brought both of these things to the table
on this song. This is easily the best she’s ever sounded, presenting a melody
that’s powerful, emotional and catchy all at once. The lyrics bring up subjects
such as death and feeling like one’s succeeded at life, with such lines as “I’m
on the edge of something final we call life tonight” and “I’m on the edge of
glory/And I’m hanging on this moment with you”.
Lady
Gaga might not have released a song quite as good as this since, but the fact
that she’s managed to consistently have good songs on each of her albums just
goes to show what a great artist she is. It’s a shame that she’s declined so
much in terms of mainstream success, because she’s very much the benchmark in
terms of quality pop songs. Maybe she’ll have a comeback at some point and see
further success. Until then, we still at least have this song. Gaga, you might
be on the edge of glory, but we’re all hanging on that moment with you.
I am all game for anything and everything lady gaga all the time! absolutely love her! she is a creative genius! Thanks for sharing this.
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