Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2013

Hey folks. After going through the exhausting ordeal of covering all of the #1 hit songs of the 1980s, I figured I should make this next set of lists something easy, something that I can get legitimately passionate about. So I decided I would talk about something more recent, since I feel like it’s what I’m most familiar with. With that said, let’s talk about 2013.


As far as the year itself goes, 2013 is special to me personally for a few reasons. It was the year that I graduated from college, got my first job outside of college, and started my first truly happy romantic relationship. Sadly, none of these things would have much of a lasting impact and within the first few months of 2014 I was jobless and single again. However, for the briefest of moments, I was in a position where I last felt truly happy.


Unfortunately, the same could not be said of the pop charts. It may be difficult to remember now, considering the current state of popular music, but 2013 was considered one of the worst years for it at the time. Hip-hop devolved into minimalist beats and terrible production, the indie rock movement from 2012 dried up with nothing to replace it, country music devolved into stupidity and debauchery, electronic music started rising in the mainstream to mixed results, and even plain pop music seemed to be doing everything it could to drop any sense of fun, personality, or enjoyment. It reached the point that the most noteworthy thing to happen all year was Miley Cyrus twerking her butt against Robin Thicke’s groin.


Was it really that bad though? Well, having gone back through the full year’s worth of top 40 hits, I can safely say that yes; it was quite bad. However, I’d like to believe in the ability to look back on our past failings and find ways to laugh at them rather than let them drag us down. So let’s take a brief look backwards and take shots at the worst the year had to offer. As usual, we’ll be starting with our dishonorable mentions:





Let Her Go (Passenger) [97; 7; 13 weeks]


Passenger was basically the thoughtless man’s Ed Sheeran, and I rest my case on this song. Where Sheeran at least tried in his music, sometimes to his detriment, this guy demonstrates no semblance of inspiration or effort. It’s a white guy with acoustic guitar song, performed with the four chords of pop, and trying to pass off the illusion of having deep wisdom and understanding when the message of the song is “You’re toxic and should let the one you love go”. Screw that noise!





Work Bitch (Britney Spears) [--; 12; 5 weeks]


Speaking of artists who don’t try, welcome back Britney. Her career should’ve died off by the mid-2000s, but because her handlers are apparently so insistent on keeping this dead whale afloat, she managed a brief hit midway through the year with an obnoxious migraine of a song that lacks any sense of cohesion in the songwriting or lyrics. This barely missed the list because I at least felt like the song was trying to convey a positive message: that by working hard and pushing your way up that corporate ladder, you too can partake in the finer things in life. It’s just a shame it was delivered by a woman who had no fucks to give about anything anymore.





Little Things (One Direction) [--; 33; 4 weeks]


This definitely would’ve made the list if it had qualified. Not only is it transparent pandering to One Direction’s insecure teenage fan base, it doesn’t even do a good job at that. It highlights some of Ed Sheeran’s biggest flaws as a songwriter, since he apparently didn’t know when and when not to delve too deep into the details, at least when he was seventeen. To think that One Direction would go on to release a song like ‘Perfect’ just three years later, and that each member of the band would start their own solo careers one more year after that.





Give It 2 U (Robin Thicke ft. Kendrick Lamar & 2 Chainz) [--; 25; 7 weeks]


I bet most of you didn’t remember Robin Thicke had another hit in 2013 besides ‘Blurred Lines’, and for good reason. It’s a tonal mish-mash of pop and hip-hop elements that tries to present itself as sexy but instead comes across as witless, sleazy, and embarrassing. It’s depressing that Kendrick Lamar features on this song, especially considering he released ‘Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe’ earlier this same year, a song where he tries to emphasize the desire for music with substance and meaning to become the new standard. Kendrick, you should’ve known better than this!





Harlem Shake (Baauer) [4; 1; 13 weeks]


Wouldn’t be a worst list if I didn’t mention this song at least once, would it? ‘Harlem Shake’ only got big because of a combination of Billboard changing their ranking system to factor in people watching the videos for songs on YouTube and the song becoming part of a stupid meme. Otherwise, there’s no way this piece of garbage would’ve peaked at #1, or made it into the top five on the year-end hot 100. The sad part is that I feel like this might’ve been the song that opened the floodgates for all the shitty vine dance songs that charted two years later. Internet, look at what you’ve wrought!





Now then, let’s delve into why people should beware, beware, beware this year. We’re counting down…





...THE TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 2013!





#10.





I don’t think I’ve made it much of a secret that I’m not a fan of Katy Perry. Her work, especially early in her career, felt like a narcissistic love letter to herself and she relied heavily on autotune to make her unstomachable voice sound, at best, passable. That said, I couldn’t find it in me to fully hate any of her work at the time; it was harmless enough and wasn’t being offensive, save for maybe a song or two. Then she released her fourth album, ‘Prism’, and with it, this:


#10. Dark Horse (Katy Perry ft. Juicy J) [--; 14; 8 weeks]


Something I noticed about ‘Prism’ was that its singles seemed like bad remakes of those off of the album before it. Where ‘Roar’ was that album’s ‘Firework’, and ‘Unconditionally’ was its ‘Teenage Dream’, ‘Dark Horse’ seems to be its ‘E.T.’, and therein lies the primary problem: ‘E.T.’ was also a terrible song. I’ll at least say this much in its defense though: at least ‘E.T.’ felt like a complete song, where ‘Dark Horse’ sounds like an unfinished demo.


Let’s start with the production. It goes for a minimalist, trap, hip-hop style, which was the wrong move as far as I’m concerned. This song had three producers behind it, including famous hit-makers Dr. Luke and Max Martin, and yet not only is it not catchy, it’s not even coherent. The melodies for the verses and the chorus are completely disconnected. The hook tries to provide swell and build-up, but the “payoff” is just an obnoxious pitch-shifted voice that just sounds ridiculous and ugly.


That brings us to our two performers, Katy Perry and Juicy J. Katy’s voice is just not the right fit for this song’s hip-hop and trap instrumentation; she’s too plastic for something like this. The lyrics don’t help matters, with Katy Perry calling herself a “dark horse”, which she was and is most certainly not considering she was one of the biggest pop stars on Earth at the time. Even ignoring that, the song presents countless disconnected metaphors that don’t tie into being a dark horse, or anything else described in the song. As for Juicy J, aside from the Jeffrey Dahmer line, none of his lyrics do anything of interest, nor do any of them connect back to any previous metaphors or lyrics.


I don’t believe this song exists for any other reason than minimalism and trap production were selling at the time, but apparently it worked. This song peaked at the top of the charts by February 2014. I guess, in a sense, ‘Dark Horse’ was the first sign of where Katy Perry’s career was going, since by her following album, she would try to distance herself from the music she used to make and has since become the lame former star of pop music we know her as now. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Katy.





#9.





On the topic of pop stars trying way too hard, let’s talk about Taylor Swift. Whether you’re a fan or a hater, I think we can all agree that most of her songs could only have been written by her. Even after switching from country to pop, her songs have a unique quality that only she can bring to them. So it becomes especially frustrating when she releases a song that does everything it can to sand off any trace of her personality.


#9. I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor Swift) [16; 2; 22 weeks]


People have had divisive reactions to Taylor’s shift to pop music, but the first warning sign regarding her change in direction was this. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that each of her albums since ‘Red’ have released lead singles that have seemed increasingly more desperate with each one. It seems to reflect how her more recent output has been gradually less focused on telling personal narratives and more about making what will sell, and I rest my case on ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’.


First, there’s the production. Up until this point, Taylor Swift’s instrumentation wasn’t too overindulgent or overdone. Even ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ didn’t go too far over the top where it didn’t need to. However, the decision to include dubstep on the song just makes the whole thing feel jarring to listen to. It just feels overwrought and unnecessary.


Of course, the main problem with the song is the lyrics. Taylor Swift’s greatest strength and most unique skill as a songwriter is her eye for details. This song takes all of that away in exchange for lyrics that anyone could have written. Even ignoring that, the message of this song is still not good. If you knew he was trouble, why did you hook up with him Taylor?


It’s just frustrating to see someone who I know can write decent songs that have a lot of emotion and expression to them choose to make bland, cookie-cutter drivel like this. If her following two albums didn’t find new ways for her to sink the quality of her music, this would easily be her worst song. Sadly, this isn’t the worst example of an artist who once had talent choosing to squander it on this list.





#8.





I mentioned earlier that minimalism was one of the big trends in hip-hop in 2013. Let’s take a moment to look at one of the artists who briefly saw success by jumping on the bandwagon.


#8. I’m Different (2 Chainz) [99; 27; 9 weeks]


This is 2 Chainz, formerly a member of Playaz Circle, having originally gone by the name “Tity Boi” before changing it due to the controversy. He’s one of the many rappers who were briefly popular between 2012 and 2014 before completely disappearing. Chances are you don’t remember him, and after hearing this song, you’ll briefly understand why before promptly forgetting he exists.


Of course, let’s take a moment to look at the producer, who went on to see more success the following year: DJ Mustard. He tends to make dark, sparse beats that are no fun to dance to yet somehow get lodged in your brain. His contributions to this song are mostly insignificant; just a eerie keyboard line paired with trap snares, and occasionally synthesized strings come in. It’s too creepy to be any fun and it’s too weak to elevate the song.


So, if the production’s terrible, that leaves 2 Chainz to carry the song himself. Sadly, his means of doing so consist of claiming he’s different and then proceeding to list off the usual bling ‘n’ bitches rap clichés. The only other lyrics that stand out are when he compares having sex with “beating” the girl’s pussy. First of all, nice job comparing sex to violence jerk. Second, I thought people stopped using that term back in the mid-2000s. Of the things you could’ve taken out of that decade, why that?


Having now listened through 2 Chainz’s discography, I can safely say this wasn’t his worst song. Granted, considering the quality of his work, that’s not exactly saying much. I’m honestly just glad he hasn’t seen further success since around 2014, because I’d be perfectly happy to never hear from him again.





#7.





Believe it or not, there was a rapper this year whose success had even less longevity than 2 Chainz’s.


#7. Gas Pedal (Sage the Gemini ft. Iamsu!) [--; 29; 9 weeks]


Sage the Gemini is a rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer from Fairfield, California, as well as a member of the HBK Gang, which he joined out of the benefit of being friends with rapper Iamsu!. At least that’s what it says about the guy on Wikipedia. However, based on what I’ve heard from him, his rapping is weak, his singing is off key, his songwriting is well below par, and his production is unpleasant to listen to. If you still have doubts, let’s dive into his biggest hit single, ‘Gas Pedal’.


Much like the previous song, this one relies on minimalist instrumentation, and that’s not good since it’s supposed to be a party song. The chorus is all about how Sage wants a girl to move her body, yet I don’t understand how anyone would want to move to this nonexistent beat and unsettling music. Also, he says he wants her to “speed up”, yet this song’s tempo feels slow and mechanical. When Jason Derulo’s ‘Wiggle’ sounds more fun to shake to than your song, you’ve done something horrifically wrong!


With a chorus and production this lacking, the song has to rely on the two rappers to carry it. Unfortunately, both of them combined somehow have less charisma than 2 Chainz by himself. Sage the Gemini’s lyrics consist mainly of weaksauce puns, while Iamsu!’s only memorable lyric is to mispronounce the word “bakery” to rhyme with “Tyler Perry”, then correct himself afterwards. If you were going to correct yourself on the pronunciation, then what was the point of you saying it wrong in the first place?


The only other success either of these men have had is when Sage featured on a Flo Rida song back in 2015; that’s it. Considering this song was everyone’s only impression of the two, I’m not surprised. If there’s anyone that’s not fun to be around at a party, it’s that asshole who’s pretending to be too cool to care about anything. Funny that they named their biggest hit ‘Gas Pedal’, because after this song’s minor success their fifteen minutes of fame came to a screeching halt. Good riddance!





#6.





Remember when Drake was interesting? His work back in the early 2010s was mixed for the most part, but he had managed to present some good songs. Then, something happened this year, and he completely lost me.


#6. Started From the Bottom (Drake) [32; 6; 18 weeks]


This was the year after Drake released what was arguably one of his best songs, ‘Take Care’. That was a very emotionally riveting song that featured Drake at his most heartfelt and Rihanna at her most emotionally exhausted and burned. It was a beautiful song that I might get to discuss at length one day. Then, he released his third studio album, ‘Nothing Was the Same’, and chose this as its lead single, to which I need to ask, “What the hell was he thinking?”


First there’s the production, provided by Mike Zombie and 40. It’s trying to go for a tone of opulence and luxury, but it instead sounds like a mish-mash of percussive effects that try and fail to elevate the song into something fun and enjoyable. Take the effects away, and the only instrumentation is a weak piano line that repeats endlessly and doesn’t change at any point in the entire song.


So, once again, we have to rely on the rapper to carry the track. Unfortunately, Drake’s delivery is probably the most flat and monotone he’d ever presented in this point of his career. His bragging songs had been like this ever since 2011, and he’s no better here. Even ignoring his lifeless performance, the lyrics betray him. Does Drake seriously feel so insecure about his own fame that he needs to wear all of his chains in his own house, where there’s no one to impress or convince but himself?


I’m honestly getting annoyed by rappers bragging about having what they want when it’s more compelling to hear them rap about getting it. Sadly, this isn’t the worst example of hip-hop, brag rap, or Drake on this list. Even so, that doesn’t excuse it. Drake, you’re better than this!





#5.





Another big trend to gain prominence in 2013 was bro country. Basically, it consists of beer-drinking, truck-driving meatheads who tend to make songs about country girls, partying, and attempting to incorporate hip-hop elements and slang. We’ll be getting to a more concrete example of that later. Meanwhile, I’d like to introduce you all to a fine fellow named Tyler Farr.


#5. Redneck Crazy (Tyler Farr) [--; 29; 5 weeks]


By this year, country music was starting to adapt and add elements of other, more mainstream genres. Arguments could be made whether or not this was a good thing, but songs like this don’t offer any defense for the genre’s shift in tone and style. Tyler Farr might not have been the most successful bro country artist, but he is probably the least interesting.


I mentioned earlier that bro country tried to incorporate elements of hip-hop, but, believe it or not, the song this one seems to resemble most is a pop song. Remember Cher Lloyd’s big crossover hit ‘Want U Back’ back in 2012? That song was about how Ms. Lloyd dumped her boyfriend expecting him to be destroyed, only to find that he had happily moved on and found someone new, and decided to make his life miserable under the pretense of trying to win him back. Basically, she was playing the evil cartoon villain most pop stars tend to sing about in their post-breakup, self-empowerment anthems nowadays. Well, Tyler Farr’s ‘Redneck Crazy’ is just a country version of that, because that’s what everyone wanted from country music, right?


The gist of this song is that Tyler Farr found out that the one he loved has met someone new and is now so pissed off that he’s going to act like a petulant child and bother the crap out of her because he can. The only detail we’re given as to why we shouldn’t like the guy his love is with now is that he drives a little truck. We don’t even get any indication that Tyler Farr actually gave a shit about the person he’s singing to, or even what their relationship was. For all we know, he’s complaining to his pet dog for helping a neighbor get their newspaper.


Regardless, even if we’re to give the song the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s about a cheating ex-girlfriend, do any of the things Tyler Farr says he’s going to do sound justified in any way? These things, by the way, include driving like a madman through their neighborhood, parking his car on their front lawn, showing up at their house at 3 a.m., shining his car’s headlights into their bedroom window, and tossing empty beer cans at their shadows. Yeah, he sounds like a keeper alright!


I’ve heard Tyler Farr’s follow up album to this one was better, but that doesn’t automatically make up for this. It takes a juvenile concept and tries to adapt it to pander to a country audience, and somehow makes the narrator come across as even more pathetic than Cher Lloyd does when she did this! I can’t imagine how anyone could get behind this, country fan or otherwise! Despite this, however, this wasn’t the worst country hit to chart this year. Speaking of which...





#4.





Most people will probably point to Florida Georgia Line’s ‘Cruise’ as the song that started the bro country trend, or at least popularized it. Of course, for those of you who have kept up with my lists, you likely are already aware that someone had beaten them to the punch with a song back in 2011 called ‘Country Girl (Shake It For Me)’. Thanks for that, Luke Bryan.


#4. That’s My Kind of Night (Luke Bryan) [78; 15; 16 weeks]


Speaking as a critic who doesn’t specialize in reviewing country music, I feel ill-equipped to properly explain why I put this song on the list. I know it received mixed to negative reviews from many country music critics, and even Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band named it the worst song he’d ever heard. In fact, plenty of internet critics have named it at least a bad song, if not the worst of the year. I don’t know if my opinion holds nearly as much water as anyone else who’s looked at this, but I do have a theory that I think deserves consideration, namely that ‘That’s My Kind of Night’ is a heinous piece of garbage.


First, there are the lyrics. To its credit, the song doesn’t tread solely on bro country clichés; it also includes those of hip-hop, and even some I wasn’t aware were things. Diamond-plated tailgates? Sex in the Flint River? A country/hip-hop mixtape including Conway Twitty and T-Pain? It tries to pander to both genres, but what country or hip-hop fan would want or have any of these things? This song had three songwriters behind it, even if Luke Bryan wasn’t one of them! Did none of them look this song over and consider that it might need a few dozen rewrites?


Of course, what most people tend to criticize is this song’s production and instrumentation. The guitars lack any semblance of presence and feel terribly inorganic for a country song. The drum machine serves no purpose besides a timekeeper. The backing vocals are in the same range as Luke Bryan’s baritone, so they’re redundant. The autotune makes my skin crawl. To top it all off, the production melts it all into a flavorless slurry that lacks any presence. Say what you want about ‘Country Girl (Shake It For Me)’; at least I could distinguish every horrendous element of that song!


This wasn’t the song that started the bro country trend, but it’s the one that represents the worst it had to offer. It’s also an example of how, even when he has professional hit makers writing and producing a song for him, Luke Bryan still finds ways to ruin it. He’d have the exact same people writing another song for him two years later with ‘Kick the Dust Up’, which was also a terrible song that’s somehow even worse. I don’t know who could enjoy something like this, but as for me, I’ll be sitting out of this dance, thank you.





#3.





2013 was the year that saw a lot of controversies arise in the music world. It was the year that gave us ‘Blurred Lines’ by Robin Thicke, ‘Do What U Want’ by Lady Gaga, ‘Same Love’ by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, and ‘Royals’ by Lorde, just to name a few. Of course, that doesn’t mean there weren’t any that slipped under the radar, like this:


#3. Love Me (Lil Wayne ft. Drake & Future) [39; 9; 20 weeks]


I don’t think I’m shocking anyone by saying I hate this song. There have been college essays written about how much it sucks. If I were to go into all the issues I have with it, I’d basically be doing a list of the top ten worst moments of this song. So, rather than try to cover all the points at once, I’ll try to trim it down to the basics.


To begin with, the production is atrocious. It’s handled by terrible producer Mike Will Made-It, who seems to specialize in these dark, creepy tunes that just make me wretch. Then there’s the chorus, provided by both Drake and Future. Future’s half of the hook is weak and requires so much autotune to cover up his offkey “singing” that it baffles me why he became a go-to chorus guy this year. Drake, meanwhile, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere other than on this song. To make matters worse, whatever momentum the song builds up during the verses comes to a dead stop whenever it gets back to Future and Drake because both of them lack any kind of force or enthusiasm.


Speaking of the verses, let’s touch on those next. Lil Wayne raps all the verses, and it reveals some disturbing things about his view on women. His style of songwriting involves not writing his lyrics down because it “sounds more real to him” and “reflects how he feels his mind works”. If this is honestly the case, I’d have to conclude that he’s a disgusting human being who views women as whores. Between saying that hoes love him “like Satan” and that they have “pussies like craters”, this song makes me want to sock the man across the jaw. Then there are the moments where he says he doesn’t care about the haters, which feel so pathetic and transparently defensive he makes Taylor Swift on ‘Shake It Off’ sound positively thick skinned by comparison. How pathetic do you have to be that you need to abuse your bitches to distract yourself from what the haters say about you?


I’d talk about my concerns regarding how Lil Wayne might still have female fans that would still want to have sex with him despite this or male fans that would try to copy this mindset or behavior. However, considering what a terrible year he had in 2013, most likely because of this song, I’d say there’s little chance of anyone wanting to condone this behavior. So remember folks, if you like Lil Wayne, he thinks you’re a bitch, but if you hate him he totally doesn’t care about what you think, and he’ll be sure to go out of his way to make sure you know that.





#2.





Some of you might be thinking, “Wait a minute, we’re down to the top two songs and you haven’t mentioned a single EDM song on this list! What’s up with that man? You had plenty of mediocre electronica or techno songs to choose from for this list!” That’s the thing: most of the EDM songs from this year were just that: mediocre. They were bland and inoffensive enough that they didn’t warrant enough passion to get angry at. Of course, when I finally did choose one for this list, it was from an artist I loathe with every fiber of my being.


#2. #thatPOWER (will.i.am ft. Justin Bieber) [95; 17; 7 weeks]

I considered giving this slot to ‘Scream & Shout’, but ultimately decided I would save it for when I get to 2012. I made this decision for two reasons. One, I feel like this song is potentially worse between the two, and two, it’s the one that better encapsulates everything I hate about will.i.am as a producer, musician, and “artist”.


Let’s start with the little things. To begin with, there’s the hashtag in the title. The absence of anything Twitter or hashtag related in the song besides that can only lead me to conclude that it was a cheap, last-minute marketing strategy. This highlights my first big issue with will.i.am: he’s a marketer first and an “artist” dead last.


Next, there’s Justin Bieber’s chorus, which is the closest the song gets to having a “positive” element in it. Unfortunately, he wasn’t given much to work with in the chorus, with the lyrics basically being nonsensical and not providing enough context for him to understand what they’re supposed to mean. The only lines that make any sense are the last two: “And I’m loving every second, minute, hour/Bigger, better, stronger, power”, and those were clearly just reinterpreted from Daft Punk’s ‘Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger’. This brings me to my next two issues with will.i.am: that he can’t carry a song by himself and that he steals his ideas from other people.


Now, let’s move along to will.i.am himself, starting with his lyrics. This might be difficult because, while most artists tend to use lyrics as a means of expressing specific sentiments or ideas, will.i.am seems perfectly content with just checking off the usual rap clichés: bragging about money, the haters, repeating meaningless words to fill up space, non-rhymes, double rhymes, and recycling the last four bars of the first verse for the second verse. This brings me to my fourth issue with the guy: he doesn’t try or care to create decent lyrics. This isn’t even just a problem with his own songs either; the lyrics for most Black Eyed Peas songs tended to be underwritten and meaningless also, when they weren’t actively annoying the listener.


Of course, where will.i.am puts all of his main effort in his music is in his production and instrumentation, so let’s look at that next. For the chorus, the song is primarily driven by synthesizers, while the verses are just a buzzing synth, an 808 drum, and a four-note bassline. It almost feels like he had two different song ideas in mind but didn’t feel like having to choose between them, so he just slapped them together and called it a day. Apparently some critics compared this song to Kanye West’s ‘Power’, but I honestly don’t hear it. ‘Power’ had a sense of command and presence to it, and Kanye was able to put a lot of personality into every part of it. Will.i.am just seemed to take the production used for some of his previous songs, specifically ‘Scream & Shout’ and ‘The Time (Dirty Bit)’, and just reuse it. That brings me to the next major issue with will.i.am I have: he’s a lazy songwriter and producer.


Having now listened through the entirety of ‘#willpower’, I can safely say this wasn’t the worst song off of that album. I’m probably not going to get around to covering will.i.am’s full discography because I’m not a masochist, so I’ll at least state that he expresses some of the most repulsive sentiments and has some of the worst lyrics I’ve ever seen in popular music. Between his songs that steal ideas and lyrics from other, better songs, and the repulsive behavior he encourages in his music, I’d have to conclude that he only cares about making products that will sell and nothing else. Of course, there was still one song that charted this year that was worse.





#1.





I realize this was an obvious choice for the #1 spot for this list, but I wouldn’t have put it here if I didn’t think it belonged here.


#1. U.O.E.N.O. (Rocko ft. Future & Rick Ross) [87; 20; 10 weeks]


This song honestly surprised me when I first heard about it. I don’t just mean regarding the song itself, which is a turgid piece of shit, but mainly because of the controversy surrounding it. I’ll touch on that later, but first I need to establish why the song itself doesn’t work even on a basic level.


To begin with, there’s the production, which is this stiff, featureless slurry of effects with barely any kind of beat or anything. Give the percussion on the previous songs some credit; at least it offered some form of energy on most of the previous songs! The drum work on this song is barely present and doesn’t elevate the song at any point.


That brings us to the lyrics. To begin with, there’s the title, which doesn’t stand for anything and is just the sound you get when you slur or autotune the phrase “You don’t even know”, like Future does on the chorus. More specifically, he uses the phrase to describe how the performers have hoes, money, brand names, and we, the listeners, couldn’t possibly fathom that. I don’t like it when rappers tell me what I already know, but that doesn’t mean I want the opposite! Besides, not only is that wrong based on the fact that you fucking told us what you claim we “don’t even know”, but it’s incredibly condescending! Also, you’re claiming to be better than me because you’re basically acting like a walking advertisement? Say what you want about will.i.am’s marketing; it was subtle in comparison to this!


Now then, I’ve put this off long enough, let’s get to the part that put this song on the list: Rick Ross’s verse. Specifically, there’s one line in his verse that sparked the controversy and for those that aren’t aware of it, I’ll just post it below:





Put Molly all in her champagne


She don’t even know it


I took her home and I enjoyed that


She don’t even know it





Rick Ross, you do know what date rape is, right? There’s no other way to interpret those lyrics, and you’re using this as a way to say you’re better than me? He apologized for this and said that he didn’t mean for it to come across that way, but when you say something this thoughtless and this obvious of a mistake, it just screams that you don’t consider the message behind your music! In other words, you’re no better than will.i.am in that regard!





Of the three artists on this song, Future seems to be the only one whose career survived unscathed after this. Rick Ross, meanwhile, got dropped by Reebok and hasn’t had another major hit since this song. As for Rocko, he hasn’t had any hits since this song, and despite dropping Rick Ross’s verse for the song to get radio play, and bringing in other guest artists to replace him, the song sank like a lead weight. Well gentlemen, I certainly don’t know or care what happens to you from here on out, but I know the highest “honor” this song deserves: the worst hit song of 2013!






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