Top 5 Best & Worst Barenaked Ladies Songs

Hey folks. Let’s take a moment to talk about the ‘90s. With the rise of the grunge movement, it dealt the killing blow to the trends of the ‘80s and seemed to bring about the changes people needed. Unfortunately, with the death of Kurt Cobain, that didn’t continue. After that happened, grunge just didn’t know how to keep itself in the mainstream for very long, instead being superseded by the seemingly endless number of silly, stupid genres that rose to replace it, as well as the still-popular alternative rock scene. Somewhere in the middle of these two movements is where you’ll find Barenaked Ladies.

            Originally from Canada, Barenaked Ladies saw incredible success in 1998 with their first and biggest American hit single, ‘One Week’. However, they had seen greater success prior to this in Canada, with two previous albums charting in the top 10 on the Canadian albums chart. They even had another hit song in America two years later, and have continued releasing records at a respectable pace, including a collaboration album they released with The Persuasions earlier this year.

            The material they’ve released has been varied, but they tend to be a pretty jokey band. That might be their greatest strength and their greatest weakness as a group: their refusal to take themselves too seriously. That’s not to say they can’t release more somber material, though that’s not entirely what they’re known for. They tend to write songs with nods to every day life, some jokes thrown in there, a laid-back attitude and occasionally some pop culture references. So today, we’re going to be looking through the band’s work, both the highest peaks and the deepest lows.

            Prepare yourselves folks, because I think never is enough; yeah, never is enough. None of us will ever want to listen through…

…THE TOP 5 WORST BARENAKED LADIES SONGS!

            #5.

            I’ve said this before, but there are some acts where you know what they’re equipped to perform and what would be outside of their wheelhouse. Occasionally one can diversify and adapt their persona to fit a specific genre, style, or subject matter, but in some cases, it’s best if they don’t stray too far from what they know.

            #5. She’s On Time (Stunt)

            ‘Stunt’ was Barenaked Ladies’ most successful album, being their first to chart in the top 5 outside of Canada and their highest charting album in the US. Some would probably label it as their best work, or at least their best of the time. As for me personally, I felt like the album started out strong but weakened as the songs progressed.

            Take this song as an example; it’s a song about sex. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; if a band wants to write a sex jam, that’s their decision. Even so though, they need to demonstrate that they’re capable of handling a subject matter like this with some level of maturity and nuance. Barenaked Ladies don’t exactly possess those things in regards to getting it on. They’re goofballs; they can’t properly capture the idea of being sexy, especially in regards to the act of reproduction for the sake of having a child. If that’s your thing, nothing against you, but Billy Paul these guys are not.

            Even ignoring the subject matter, this song gets obnoxious terribly quickly. The song progression is stiff and wooden like a fence, the nursery rhyme melody grinds on my nerves, and good God, that chorus. This is probably one of the band’s most repetitious songs to date. The phrase “She’s on time” is repeated throughout the song forty-five times, and not once does it sound natural. They might as well be reciting bland, everyday things like “brush your teeth” or “read a book”.

            This placed low on the list because, at the end of the day, it still feels like a complete song. The same can definitely not be said of most of the other songs on this list. Even so, this is still a disappointment considering this same album also gave us songs like ‘Alcohol’, ‘Call and Answer’, and ‘One Week’. Skip it if at all possible.

            #4.

            During a period between 2003 and 2008, Barenaked Ladies just kept pumping out record after record, releasing at least one or two per year. In this time frame they released three studio albums, three themed or topical albums, two EPs, their iTunes Originals, and two live albums. Even some of the greatest acts of all time would have trouble maintaining quality with a release schedule as tight as this. If you really want to know how bad it got, this next song was off of their seventh studio album, released in 2006.

            #4. Vanishing (Barenaked Ladies Are Me)

            ‘Barenaked Ladies Are Me’ represents a significant shift for the band, since it was the first full-length original-material album they released following their decision to become an independent group. In a lot of cases, separating from the record studio can be a mixed bag. On one hand, you have more artistic freedom, but on the other hand you lose some of your funding and support. Furthermore, you don’t have studio hacks breathing down your neck saying what songs you should release and what you should shelve. I can’t think of any other excuse as to how this thing made the cut aside from the band dropping their standards.

It pains me to put a song like this on the list, because, if nothing else, it demonstrates that the band is capable of having other members perform the lead vocals besides Steven Page and Ed Robertson. Or at least it would have if Kevin Hearn had put any soul into this performance! He sounds half-asleep throughout this entire song! It’s like he was dragged out of bed, forced into the studio and told to sing the first thing that came to his head!

            It’s especially disappointing because we have yet another song about magic and mysticism that’s painfully bland. It brings up some of the least imaginative imagery they could’ve thought of for this song. In all fairness though, they at least tried harder than the Steve Miller Band did, but that doesn’t excuse it. “He’s floating upside-down below a chandelier”? “He whispers them each night into a lion’s ear”? “Under the stage lights at the Bellagio”? Also, what are the themes of magic and vanishing supposed to be referring to? These lyrics are way too vague!

            This isn’t the worst song the band released around this time. I’d probably argue it’s not even the blandest of the bunch. It did come close though, and considering this was coming from a band as lively and excitable as Barenaked Ladies, this was a monumental letdown.

            #3.

            Since one Barenaked Ladies song about sex wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable enough, why not go for two?

            #3. In the Car (Stunt)

            Yes, believe it or not ladies and gentlemen, ‘Stunt’ featured two sex songs on it. Although, for the record, I think this one is many times worse than ‘She’s On Time’. This sounds less like a completed song and more like a scrapped idea that should’ve been tossed out.

            Okay, I guess I’ll need to correct myself: this isn’t specifically a song about sex. Instead, it’s a song about all the things the pair in the relationship is doing in the car because they can’t be bothered to have sex. As bad as ‘She’s On Time’ was, at least the couple was actually getting it on.

It doesn’t even sound like they’re doing these things because they’re not ready for that next step; it just sounds like the guy is incredibly pissy. He’s so disinterested in this relationship that he fantasizes about sleeping with the girl’s mom instead of the girl. He doesn’t even seem to care if she finds out about it. He mentions the possibility with the most laid-back tone that conveys no sense of shame at all.

Of course, the worst part about the song is that it’s not remotely sexy. Again, Barenaked Ladies aren’t exactly the band I play when I want to get it on. Even if the detached, spiteful tone of the song fit the subject matter, it isn’t what I want to hear from this band. What’s even the point of this song? I’ll say this much: in the car, I’m most definitely not listening to this.

            #2.

            I feel like I don’t enjoy the holidays as much as I used to. Part of the reason for that is the whole commercial aspect of it, especially in the music. Everything about Christmas music feels calculated and like it only exists to fill out a quota. Even ignoring that, lately most artists’ covers of classic holiday songs just don’t tend to be very good or even memorable. But what could be worse than ruining one beloved Christmas song? How about ruining two?

            #2. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings (Barenaked for the Holidays)

            This spot very nearly went to Barenaked Ladies’ cover of ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’. I still think that song is terrible, but ultimately, I felt like the song’s badness couldn’t be pinned on the band; it’s terrible enough by itself. This one, however, the instant I heard it, I knew immediately that I hated it.

            As the title suggests, it’s a combination of two different songs about Christmas, specifically focusing on the birth of Christ. The problem comes from the fact that neither of them have anything to do with each other. ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ is presumably told from the perspective of a random person, possibly a priest, to the listener. ‘We Three Kings’, on the other hand, is told from the perspective of the three wise men. This is the same problem I had with Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s combination of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ and ‘What a Wonderful World’: it’s taking two different songs with clashing perspectives and stitching them ass to ass with no context.

            If they’d managed to present it with an enjoyable tone that’d be one thing. Unfortunately, it’s presented with all the light, excitability of grandma’s funeral. Not helping matters is the fact that they got Sarah McLachlan sharing lead vocals with Ed Robertson, and the two do not gel well at all. To top it all off, it’s a white-guy-with-acoustic-guitar song. The result is that it sounds like a clumsy, folksy rendition of songs that don’t really lend themselves to folk music reimagining. They just sound sad and unpleasant to listen to.

            I wouldn’t quite label this as the worst Christmas song I’ve heard, but it ranks pretty high up there. Every second of this is like a dull, unenthused drill boring a hole in my skull. It’s the worst song the Barenaked Ladies released during their mid-career period of making way too many albums way too quickly. All that in mind though, they had one song worse than this.

            #1.

            I wish I could say my #1 was a particularly noteworthy song. I guess that’s the nature with lists like these: when no filter is put up to divide the album filler from the solid tracks, the two will end up being lumped together. Still, poor quality material should be recognized as such, regardless of how it’s classified.

            #1. Little Tiny Song (Maybe You Should Drive)

            Some of you are probably saying, “Wait a second, this shouldn’t count! That song’s only like a minute long!” It doesn’t matter; a song’s length shouldn’t be an excuse to exclude it from the list. If the song is short but still has elements that make it serve a purpose, it didn’t place on the list. If a song is short for no reason and doesn’t contribute anything, then it’s terrible.

            Most of Barenaked Ladies’ shorter songs at least gave the impression that they had a germ of an interesting idea in them somewhere. There’s no such presentation here. This isn’t so much a “little, tiny song” as it is barely a song at all! This is less than twelve percent of a song; this isn’t even a concept! This is even apparent in the instrumentation, which consists of a single piano part, one person singing and that’s it! It’s not even a very complicated piano performance either; I could play this!

            That leaves us with the lyrics, which don’t function much better. There’s barely enough words to fill out a single verse, with two lines repeated, and the lyrics don’t add up to mean anything. They are as follows:

Hey I’m a cow, I’m curious

Hey watch me now, I’m furious

Hey I’m a cow, I’m full of hate

Hey watch me now, I’m on your plate

            The song’s not even long enough to establish a concise message. All we get is what sounds like a terribly brief transition through the life of a cow. Also, what do the parts about being “furious” and “full of hate” have to do with anything? Is the cow’s curiosity pissing it off to the point that it develops hatred towards everything? Was it planning on starting a mass-cow revolution against the farmers? Is that why it’s now on my plate? What was it curious about? Why a cow?

            I have little reason to believe they chose these lyrics for any reason other than the rhyme scheme. So, I guess the defense can be made that some effort went into this. That said, considering the lyrics make no sense, the instrumentation is as minimal as one can get, and the song is barely over a minute in length, I can’t help but wonder if that effort was worth it. It’s for this reason that I am labeling this as the worst song the Barenaked Ladies have ever released.

            Now that we’ve taken out the trash, let’s see if these next few songs are truly great or too little, too late. We’re counting down…

…THE TOP 5 BEST BARENAKED LADIES SONGS!

            #5.

            I was pretty harsh on ‘Stunt’ with the worst list, so let’s take a moment to focus on some of the areas where that album worked well, such as here:

            #5. Call and Answer (Stunt)

            Considering the number of goofy, pop-y songs that Barenaked Ladies have released, it’s kind of surprising to see them handle a more somber one well. Yet I can’t think of any song that better reflects the band’s diversity than this one. ‘Call and Answer’ is their softer, more sensitive side that they’re pulling out to show that, while they are still clowns, they can be serious.

            The subject matter for this song is surprisingly heavy, focusing on a relationship after things have fallen apart. The lyrics describe how, despite the fact that it didn’t work out, the narrator is still willing to answer when the other person calls and pick her up when she falls. That’s not a level of maturity you hear in break-up songs nowadays, except maybe from Adele. Yet despite this, the narrator insists that the woman he’s addressing be willing to rebuild and shoulder her share of the baggage.

            The instrumentation is surprisingly strong too. It starts out fairly simple, with just the guitar and drums. However, as the song progresses, the intensity slowly builds on itself. It’s also a nice presentation of front man Steven Page’s vocal chops. He performs all the vocals on this song by himself; the overlapping vocals, the harmonies, the call-and-response chorus, all of them.

            This was the final single off of ‘Stunt’, and it’s a damned shame that it wasn’t a hit, because it’s one of the best songs off of the album. It was a bigger hit in Canada though, peaking in the top ten, making it one of the band’s most successful songs in their native country. ‘Call and Answer’: a clear sign that Barenaked Ladies can be just as, if not more grown-up than most mainstream pop music of today.

            #4.

            Now, let’s see how the band handles the same subject matter, but playing a little more loosely.

            #4. Enid (Gordon)

            When you think of early Barenaked Ladies songs, what are usually the ones that come to mind? ‘If I Had $1,000,000’ and ‘Be My Yoko Ono’ perhaps? Or maybe ‘Brian Wilson’? For me, this is the song that I think of when I’m asked about the best of the band’s early work.

            Of their early songs, ‘Enid’ probably has some of their more complex production. To begin with, this is one of their few songs to feature a horn section, which is credited to ‘The Jimmy Crack Horns’, since they tended to give silly names to outside musicians that performed on their songs. It also features pedal steel guitar and a cuica, and it opens with a pastiche of Depeche Mode.

            Of course, what really works in this song’s favor are the lyrics and subject matter. ‘Enid’ is about a guy trying to get back with an ex he broke up with at fifteen, who he still isn’t over yet despite it being years later. Even with the guy’s passion about reuniting with the titular ex though, he also demonstrates comedic laziness as well. For example, he considers various things he could do to try and win her back, such as getting a job so he can pay the phone bills, cutting his hair, and working overtime. Ultimately though, he decides that he doesn’t want to do any of these things.

            Considering this was off of the band’s first album, ‘Gordon’, I’d say it was an impressive way for the band to finally make a name for themselves. They may have had other songs prior to this that have become more closely associated with them, but as far as I’m concerned, this was the song that put them on the map, in Canada at least. As for the song that made them big internationally, we’ll be getting to that later.

            #3.

            2009 was a difficult year for Barenaked Ladies. With the departure of Steven Page, they needed to find a way to carve out a new identity for themselves without him. They sort of pulled this off with their 2010 album ‘All In Good Time’, but it was by far not a perfect record. Most of its strengths could be attributed to its lead single, and such a mindset would not be entirely inaccurate.

            #3. You Run Away (All In Good Time)

            I personally feel like ‘All In Good Time’ is underrated. Most of the songs from that album were pretty good, and while it didn’t fully help the band step out of Steven Page’s shadow, it at least set them along the path to doing so. Of course, ‘You Run Away’ was right at the forefront of that path, as it is easily the best song off of the album.

            As you might’ve guessed, this song was partially inspired by Page’s departure, and the lyrics reflect that for the most part. They speak of separation, distance and a disconnection between the narrator and the person he’s trying to reach out to. Ed Robertson’s vocal delivery presents the idea of loss and confusion, wanting desperately to reestablish what they had, but knowing deep down that such might not be possible.

            The instrumentation matches the tone fairly well, carrying a very melancholic feel and complimenting Robertson’s vocals nicely. Something about this song is very reminiscent of early Coldplay, and I mean that in a good way. Of course, I don’t think Coldplay would’ve written something this direct in its message.

            If nothing else, this song shows just how much Barenaked Ladies had grown as a band. They might have lost one of their founding members, but they still had enough creative ideas to make up for that, to a certain extent. Of course, for the song that truly saw that untapped potential realized…

            #2.

            That brings us to the band’s 2013 album, the one that fully helped Barenaked Ladies stand on their own without the cloud of Steven Page’s departure hanging over their heads. I am, of course, talking about ‘Grinning Streak’.

            #2. Odds Are (Grinning Streak)

            This was actually a difficult choice for me, since there were quite a few songs off of this album I liked. It was kind of a toss between this, the Mark Endert remix of ‘Boomerang’ and ‘Did I Say That Out Loud?’ regarding which song would make it on this list. In the end though, I had to go with the one that most elevated my mood just from listening to it, the one that had the most iconic sound to it, the one that most made me think of classic Barenaked Ladies, and ‘Odds Are’ covers all these bases and more.

            Lyrically, the song discusses various ways in which people could die, such as being struck by lightning or hit by a train. It presents them with a comedic edge though, and points out that, while those are possibilities, the chances of them happening are still small. It even points out that there’s a greater possibility of falling in love and, ultimately, the chances are even more likely that things will be alright. Considering how pessimistic the outlook of the world has become lately, it’s nice to hear something reassuring like this.

            That leaves the instrumentation and production. All the little elements in this song help contribute to the whole: the guitar licks, the handclaps during the verses, the background vocals during the chorus, the piano line, and of course, there’s Ed Robertson’s vocal performance. A song like this is balancing a fine line between being funny and being serious, and Robertson walks that line effortlessly. When he says that everything’s going to be alright, I completely believe him.

            It’s a damn shame this didn’t chart outside of Canada, because considering how dour and lifeless pop music was sounding at the time, we could’ve definitely used a song like this. Sadly, Barenaked Ladies’ follow-up album ‘Silverball’ didn’t really have the same charm that this brought to their previous album, but it’s at least a sign that they might still be able to recapture the magic of their early years. Speaking of which…

            #1.

            Chances are most of you have already guessed what the #1 song for this list is. What can I say? I’m just predictable sometimes.

            #1. One Week (Stunt)

            I realize this comes across as a bit narrow-minded of me. The American pop music reviewer is naming a Canadian band’s biggest American hit as his favorite song of theirs. That said I wouldn’t have put this song on this list if I didn’t think it belonged here.

Thematically, the song is about a fight between a man and a woman. The guy seems to realize that he’s in the wrong but is trying to save face. Normally, I would find this kind of song insufferable, but the lyrics are presented with this bouncy, lighthearted tone that makes it easy to overlook that the guy’s not very good about owning up to his mistakes.

Of course, what everyone’s probably expecting me to talk about are the verses, performed by Ed Robertson. They are ridiculous and have nothing to do with the song’s theme, but they might be the best parts of the song. Robertson stated that he wanted to write a rap verse but his attempts at doing so failed. So, Steven Page suggested he just improvised as they usually did onstage. The result is a collection of ridiculous pop culture references, including LeAnn Rimes, ‘X-Files’, Harrison Ford, Snickers, Akira Kurosawa, and ‘Sailor Moon’. Where most attempts at dropping these kind of references would seem pointless and annoying, Robertson’s delivery presents that he’s not doing it just for the sake of attention or trying to be trendy, but because he’s simply enjoying himself.

‘One Week’ perfectly encapsulated everything that Barenaked Ladies were doing right as a band: it’s catchy, it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and, most importantly, it’s fun. Their early work might have been what established their formula, but it was this song that perfected it. There’s nothing else I can say about it, honestly; it’s one of the best songs of the late ‘90s, and easily the best song by Barenaked Ladies.