Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 1976

Hello again folks. I want to take a moment and say that I hope I didn’t leave the wrong impression about how I felt about this particular year. Yes, I did have quite a bit of bile and anger about quite a few songs that came out in 1976, but ultimately I’m happy that I chose this year specifically to look through. Why? Because, for the most part, the music that came out this year was very good. In fact, it was ridiculously good. Not only was the good music incredibly good, there was also plenty of it. There were so many good songs that came out this year that I actually have way more songs to include on the honorable mentions list than I normally would choose to. I’ll get to those momentarily, but I just want to take a moment to just show how much I appreciate that a year like this existed, and that I got the chance to cover it. Considering how few and far between genuinely good years in pop music tend to be nowadays, it’s nice to look back at the good stuff that stood out and had a seriously positive impact on our culture, both at the time and today.

But enough beating around the bush; I get the feeling that you’d prefer I just cut to the chase and get to the songs already. Very well then, I shall. First things first: the rather hefty list of honorable mentions:

You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine (Lou Rawls) [32; 2; 13 weeks]

This was a groovy little dance number delivered courtesy of American gospel, R&B, soul, jazz and blues performer Lou Rawls. This was his biggest and most successful single, but that’s not to say he’s not still a talented performer. Frank Sinatra once stated that he had “the classiest singing and silkiest chops in the singing game,” and I can definitely see why he would make that claim. That said, I felt like I had a bit of trouble buying into this song. Just something about the cockiness and overconfidence the singer conveys just turns me off to it a little. Still, with Rawls’s deep, soulful vocals, I would definitely say it’s still quite a lovely song to groove to with your lover.

Blinded By The Light (Manfred Mann’s Earth Band) [--; 32; 3 weeks]

This song was a much bigger hit in the following year, but it technically first charted in the top 40 in ’76, so I’m barely counting it as an honorable mention. This has to be one of the strangest songs I’ve heard; the lyrics are basically nonsensical. This song was originally written and performed by Bruce Springsteen, who put it together by basically just picking out random words from a rhyming dictionary and sticking them together. No, seriously; that’s how this song was made. And when Manfred Mann’s Earth Band covered it, they ended up changing some of the lyrics, so it became even more nonsensical. And yet, despite how little sense the song actually makes, I can’t help but enjoy it. Just the bombast and enthusiasm behind the song won be over before I could even think of just how little sense the song actually made.

Over My Head (Fleetwood Mac) [--; 20; 5 weeks]

I honestly wish that country music would start moving back in this direction, less stuff about cars, beer and hoes and more about personal emotions and with a bit of a more theatrical feel to them.

Hurricane (Bob Dylan) [--; 33; 3 weeks]

Okay, yes, I think Bob Dylan’s voice sounds like sandpaper at points. That said, I feel it actually works for a song like this one. This isn’t trying to be a pretty pop song; it’s a song about a real event that had serious, real consequences on people and includes uncomfortable subject matters. Songs like this don’t really crop up nowadays on mainstream radio anymore, well besides Macklemore’s ‘Same Love,’ but that’s addressing a completely different subject matter.

Slow Ride (Foghat) [85; 20; 12 weeks]

Now here’s an awesome rock song. I especially like that, despite its theme of relaxing and taking your time, the song still has energy and a driving force behind it.

More Than A Feeling (Boston) [--; 5; 12 weeks]

Speaking of rock music classics, here’s yet another. I like how the song’s verses are soft and contemplative; they serve as nice contrasts to the much louder, more bombastic chorus.

Who’d She Coo? (Ohio Players) [86; 18; 10 weeks]

This was a really good year for funk, disco and dance music. So, brace yourselves, folks; there’s a lot more where this came from.

Happy Days (Pratt & McClain) [--; 5; 10 weeks]

Yes, I’m aware that this song was technically first recorded in 1974, and again in 1975. However, the version that became a hit was the single off of Pratt and McClain’s ‘Pratt & McClain Featuring Happy Days’ album. And honestly folks, I think this song still holds up today. Yes, the show didn’t ultimately survive with the same level of quality after it jumped the shark, but the theme song is still a classic.

That’s the Way (I Like It) (KC and the Sunshine Band) [45; 3; 5 weeks]

Now this is how disco music should be made: tight, groovy and energetic, and most importantly, no stupid duck noises!

I’d Really Love To See You Tonight (England Dan & John Ford Coley) [21; 2; 17 weeks]

I think this is a rather sweet song. It sounds like it’s about someone trying to meet up with another person after a long time has passed. It also seems to imply that there were romantic feelings between the two of them at one point, or that they might still be there, but that the narrator is trying not to let those feelings sway him. It’s not exactly something deep or meaningful, but still a nice, little, sentimental song.

Love Rollercoaster (Ohio Players) [30; 1; 9 weeks]

And here’s yet another song by the Ohio Players, and yet another sweet song to dance to. They seem to have a strong knack for creating songs out of a single repeated phrase and having them turn out really good. Maybe the Silver Convention could’ve afforded to take a few more pages from their songwriting book.

Theme From S.W.A.T. (Rhythm Heritage) [29; 1; 12 weeks]

I think this will be my first time talking about a purely instrumental theme. Though, considering most of the dance songs I’ve looked at so far haven’t really had the lyrics actually meaning anything, I guess it makes sense that I’d eventually get to a dance song that did away with lyrics altogether. To be fair though, it’s not like the song really needs them.

Disco Lady (Johnnie Taylor) [3; 1; 13 weeks]

For how harsh I was with the dance songs that appeared on the worst list, I’m certainly seeing quite a few songs that made up for them on this list. This is probably one of the more laid back dance songs that came out this year, primarily because of the production, which I think is the real star of this song. 

Getaway (Earth, Wind & Fire) [80; 12; 12 weeks]

Now here’s a dance song I can get behind: a song that not only invites the listener to dance, but offers escape, sanctuary from the oppressive outside world through dance. And of course, it’s only fitting that such a song would come from Earth, Wind & Fire.

Fopp (Ohio Players) [--; 30; 5 weeks]

I honestly think I might become a fan of the Ohio Players at this rate. Maybe I should check out more of their music. This song in particular is a nice contrast from their other songs, having a much more aggressive feel to it that makes it a lot more memorable.

You’re My Best Friend (Queen) [83; 16; 11 weeks]

This is a pretty interesting song coming from Queen. It’s certainly one of the more subdued songs of theirs that I’ve heard. I mean, yes, they were able to release things like ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love,’ and ‘Who Wants to Live Forever,’ but I’m not sure if those songs managed to still capture the essence of Queen in the same way that this song did. Their trademark ‘wall of sound’ effect that they create with their harmonies is still present, as are Freddie’s unmistakable vocals.

Doctor Tarr & Professor Fether (The Alan Parsons Project) [--; 37; 2 weeks]

You most likely have no idea what this song is. And if such is the case, I humbly suggest you rectify this. It’s a song that intentionally tries to come across as unsettling and atmospheric, and I think it pulls it off. I mean, just listen to that guitar line, and the organ! Sadly, it lyrically feels kind of lacking, with words mostly thrown together to create rhymes, though to be fair the words used do still flow into each other well.

Turn the Beat Around (Vicki Sue Robinson) [38; 10; 13 weeks]

Okay, I’ll admit, there were a lot of disco dance songs that came out this year that I liked. There are still more of them to be listed here; I’m not finished yet. I guess I’m just a real sucker for disco music.

Car Wash (Rose Royce) [--; 9; 4 weeks]

Quick question: is this song supposed to be glorifying working at the car wash or making it sound like horrible, grueling work? I’m just a bit confused about what the song’s giving me. Of course, this is yet another dance song, so it really doesn’t matter either way. The goal of the song has nothing to do with cars; it exists for one purpose and one purpose only: to make you dance. And in that regard it definitely succeeds.

I Only Wanna Be With You (Bay City Rollers) [--; 12; 12 weeks]

I honestly think this is a really nice song; it’s just a cute little affirmation of one’s feelings for another. Also, unlike the Stampeders’ disastrous cover of ‘Hit the Road Jack,’ the Bay City Rollers’ version actually has them sound like they’re able to perform this song and perform it well. This is how you cover a song!

Nights On Broadway (The Bee Gees) [--; 13; 3 weeks]

This technically was a bigger hit in 1975 and only barely bled over into being a hit in ’76, but it’s still a really good song and definitely would’ve qualified for the list otherwise.

You Should Be Dancing (The Bee Gees) [31; 1; 12 weeks]

As long as we’re talking about the Bee Gees, might as well bring this one up also. This is a good example of music that doesn’t casually request its listener to dance like ‘Get Up and Boogie’ tried and failed to do, but rather commands its listener to dance.

I Love Music (The O’Jays) [52; 5; 8 weeks]

I told you I wasn’t finished listing disco songs. I guess the main things about this particular one that make it stand out are the bongos. They just add a unique kind of energy to the beat. Besides that though, it’s a nice little declaration of love and appreciation for music, especially that which has a nice groove to it, that is also nice to dance to.

Boogie Fever (The Sylvers) [20; 1; 15 weeks]

Not really a lot to be said about this one. I’ll at least say it made better use of the word ‘boogie’ than the Silver Convention did.

Action (Sweet) [--; 20; 7 weeks]

This is what I tend to lean more towards in terms of rock music: music that has lots of energy and bombast. Not the only song by Sweet that I liked this year either, but I’ll get to that when we get into the list proper.

I Wish (Stevie Wonder) [--; 7; 5 weeks]

…Okay, this is the last honorable mention I’m listing here, I swear.

Now then, get ready to shake shake shake your booties, ladies and gentlemen, ‘cause we are counting down…

…THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 1976!

            #10.

It really does not say good things about me when I have to begin my best list right off the bat with an apology. I’m not apologizing for the song I’m listing here for the record; it’s a beautiful song and I like it a lot. No, I’m apologizing for my rather harsh criticisms of Whitney Houston back when I put ‘All the Man That I Need’ on my worst of ’91 list. I stated that I wasn’t really a fan because her music tended to be too overblown for me, and I wasn’t that big of a fan of slow tempo ballads, especially ones that had the performer collaborating with the likes of Kenny G of all people. That said, I was still being rather disrespectful to an artist who had made serious contributions to the music world, who went through a lot of serious problems through her life including drug abuse and being abused by her husband, and who had died three years prior. So, me talking badly about Whitney Houston back on that list, I just want to offer my sincerest apologies for that. After all, while I’m not and haven’t ever been a fan, I will acknowledge that Whitney Houston was a very good performer. She had a lot of talent and was able to perform very powerful songs. And she was capable of exercising decent range in her music, performing slow-tempo love songs and even energetic dance music like ‘How Will I Know’ and ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me).’ And she was responsible for breaking down barriers for a lot of black female performing artists that would follow her, such as Janet Jackson and Anita Baker.

However, as far as famous black female performing artists go, before we had Whitney Houston, there was Diana Ross.

#10. Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To) (Diana Ross) [43; 1; 8 weeks]

Back when she was a part of the all female group the Supremes, which was one of Motown’s most successful acts of the 1960s, Diana Ross’s fame rivaled that of the Beatles in terms of worldwide popularity, and with her success future African American R&B and soul groups were also able to find mainstream success. Over the course of both her time with the Supremes and her solo career, Ross has earned a grand total of 18 number one hit songs, and influenced numerous artists, including Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Fergie, Jennifer Lopez, Mary J Blige and Leona Lewis, and African American women groups, such as the Emotions, TLC and Destiny’s Child. She’s also credited as having discovered the Jackson 5.

As for this song in particular, this is the theme to Ross’s second film, Mahogany, a film that casts her as an aspiring fashion designer who becomes a runway model and a star of the fashion industry. Sadly, while it was a success at the box office, this film was a disaster, both in terms of critical reception and behind the scenes, with the film’s director being fired during production, leaving Motown founder Berry Gordy to direct the film himself. However, Ross clashed with Gordy during filming, eventually resulting in Ross leaving the production before they’d finished filming it. And having now watched the finished product…yeah, it was kind of a mess of a movie. With all the tension going on between people during production, I can’t imagine how this film could have been salvaged. However, if anything good came from the existence of this movie it was this song.

The song presents questions of uncertainty regarding the pursuit of one’s life goals, and reflects on the narrator’s own insecurity regarding their life choices. One such question is actually rather interesting: “Why must we wait so long before we’ll see how sad the answers to those questions can be?” That’s actually a good question to ask. Why do we have to wait before we find the answers to the questions we’re asked about our life goals and dreams of the pursuit of happiness, especially when it turns out that the things we’re pursuing might not necessarily be the things that will ensure we achieve that happiness we seek? And the music matches that tone very well, with its soft, contemplative feel, though matching it with possibly a subtle hint of optimism. But really, what makes this song work is Diana Ross herself, who, being perfectly honest, has a beautiful voice and just really sells the insecurity and lack of clarity behind the song.

When I think of a song that captures the idea of light at the end of a tunnel, this song is what comes to mind. I’m not normally one for soft, slow-tempo ballads, but I have to give it up for this one. In a year that was dominated by disco and funk music it was a breath of fresh air.

#9.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o0Vv8lr41w

Couldn’t have put it better myself, Mr. Walken.

#9. (Don’t Fear) The Reaper (Blue Öyster Cult) [--; 12; 14 weeks]

Yeah, I bet plenty of you reading this didn’t even know this was a hit. I first heard about this song through my older sister from when she played it on Rock Band. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but since I was exposed to it, I think it’s grown on me.

The first things I’d like to talk about are the lyrics and theme of the song. The lyrics focus on the inevitability of death, and how foolish it is to live in fear of it. This doesn’t mean that the Blue Öyster Cult were trying to glorify death or advertise suicide when they wrote the song, but rather just encourage people not to be afraid of death as opposed to actively seeking it. Much like how, ‘the seasons don’t fear the reaper, nor do the wind, the sun or the rain,’ people need not spend their lives haunted by the fear of death, but choose to accept it, live their lives to the fullest and, once their time comes, face their death with quiet, dignity and grace. The song also focuses on the theme of eternal love, with such lines as ‘Romeo and Juliet are together in eternity’ reflecting the idea of lovers transcending physical boundaries and being united in death, with their love never fading.

Okay, the themes are one thing, but what about the music? Well, as I said before, I didn’t really buy into it at first; I felt like it was a bit too soft, but it’s grown on me. I think the main selling point for me is the guitar riff, which is built on the ‘i-VII-VI’ chord progression. Said riff was recorded with a Gibson ES-175 guitar run through a Music Man 410 combo amplifier, giving it a very distinct, classic rock sound. Also, as Christopher Walken was kind enough to bring up, the song features prominent use of the cowbell, though interestingly enough was originally recorded without it, but had it overdubbed into the song later. And I’m glad that they ultimately decided to do so because that sound helps bring the song together. Normally I’m bothered by tiny little percussive sound effects that resemble woodblocks or water, but this one I’m willing to tolerate because it’s far enough at the back of the track that it’s not actively overpowering any other parts of the song.

And lastly, there are the vocals. The softer, more relaxed feel that lead singer Donald ‘Buck Dharma’ Roeser brings to the song matches the song’s subject matter, that being to accept and not be afraid of the inevitability of death. In fact, music critic Nathan Buckett compared the vocals on the song to those of the Beach Boys. I’m not necessarily sure I’d go that far, but I can say this: I’d definitely take the Blue Öyster Cult trying to be the Beach Boys over the Beach Boys’ own contribution to 1976, an underperformed cover of Chuck Berry’s ‘Rock and Roll Music’.

Bottom line, this song is both an awesome song and a good message. Don’t live in fear of death, since it’s not a possibility but a certainty. Though that doesn’t mean you should go actively seeking it out; just accept it and keep living your life.

#8.

If you’ve been paying attention to either of these lists so far, it should be abundantly clear that there was a fuck ton of funk music in 1976; a funk ton, if you will. On the one hand, the abundance of funk music is greatly welcomed because, well, funk and disco music are awesome and it’s a shame that we still wound up getting outright stupid pieces of crap like ‘Disco Duck’ to give such music a bad name. On the other hand, with so much of this music being accumulated all in one year, some of it tends to blend into each other. So if one were in a situation where one would need to listen to a lot of different songs from these genres consecutively, like I did when putting these lists together, all of the songs end up sounding uncomfortably similar. I sincerely hope I’m not coming across as saying ‘all black music sounds the same,’ because that’s not true at all. I love all of the funk songs listed above; I just tend to struggle with identifying what elements from one such song I like in place of the elements from a different song. I feel like this is less of a problem with the music and more of a problem with myself for not being able to properly distinguish the things I like from one song from the things I like from a different song. The bottom line is I really had a lot of trouble trying to pick just one song to represent the genre as a whole for this list. So please understand that I did not make this choice lightly.

#8. Give Up the Funk (Tear the Roof Off the Sucker) (Parliament) [93; 15; 10 weeks]

This is probably going to be the hardest song for me to talk about on this list. Again, this has nothing to do with the song itself, but more to do with my inability to specify what exact elements are present on this song that distinguish it from all the other funk songs to come out this year. In fact, it’s also kind of hard for me to talk about why it’s this song in particular that I like, since it demonstrates many qualities that are also present on songs that were dishonorable mentions on the worst list. For example, it’s incredibly repetitive, basically repeating two different segments together over and over, with occasional breaks with repeated musical segments. So, what stops me from dismissing this song as being no better than the other mindless, overly repetitious dance songs that this year spawned?

Well, there are a couple of things that work in this song’s favor. For starters, while every segment of the song is repeated at least once throughout the song, the structure of the song is such that I don’t hear any segment enough times consecutively for it to wear out on me. Each line is only repeated four times at most. It’s just varied enough that I can enjoy each segment without them wearing out on me. In addition, some segments have slight variations to them in terms of the vocals or the instrumentation, so each repeated segment does slightly change and evolve over the course of the song. For example, one segment, when first repeated, has a much more prominent bass voice over the rest of the track.

I guess another thing about this song that makes it stand out a bit more is the interplay between the instruments.  The primary instrumental parts are the bass and drums, with the brass and synthesizers basically working in tandem with those. Another thing I should note is that the album cut of the song begins with a bass vocal part repeating the lines, ‘Tear the roof off/We gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker/Tear the roof off the sucker.” This is absent from the single version, which I honestly think is a shame because that bass vocal part really helps to start off the song’s momentum.

If there’s anything more impressive than the song, it’s probably the story behind Parliament themselves. They were originally a ‘50s doo-wop group called ‘The Parliaments’ led by George Clinton, consisting of ten members; five vocalists and five instrumentalists. However, due to a contractual dispute, Clinton lost the rights to the name ‘The Parliaments’ and instead signed the instrumentalists as ‘Funkadelic,’ with the vocalists featured as uncredited guests. The singers would eventually be relaunched as the singing group ‘Parliament,’ meaning Clinton then owned two different acts consisting of the same members, but with each marketed as creating two different styles of funk. While continuing contractual problems and the fact that Funkadelic’s music was more successful at the time lead to Clinton abandoning the name ‘Parliament,’ the addition of new members to the group lead to him relaunching Parliament in 1974, this time selling them as a smoother R&B-based funk ensemble to serve as counterpoint to the guitar-based funk rock of Funkadelic. Unfortunately, with the increase in members to the Parliament-Funkadelic group over the course of the ‘70s, and several key members of the group leaving due to issues they took with Clinton’s management style, things weren’t looking great for the groups by the late ‘70s. And the early ‘80s didn't see them fairing much better, since Clinton was facing legal issues due to the multiple names of different groups associated with him, as well as issues with Casablanca Records, the record company they were working under. Under all this pressure, Clinton ultimately dissolved both Parliament and Funkadelic as recording and touring groups. However, many of the musicians within the two groups at this point in time were still employed by Clinton, who continued releasing albums, both under his name and the name ‘George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars,’ and they continued touring at least into the ‘90s and 2000s.

While Parilament managed to score a second hit with ‘Flash Light’ in 1978, none of the other groups associated with George Clinton managed to gain as much success as Parliament achieved with ‘Give Up the Funk,’ sadly. However, I get the impression Clinton’s still doing fairly well for himself, since he’s still contributing to other people’s songs to this day. Regardless, this song continues to endure the test of time as the classic funk jam that it is. Gotta have that funk!

#7.

When an artist reinvents themself, it can generally go one of two ways: either the artist gains newfound popularity through a creative stylistic shift and reaches the height of their success, or the start of what would be a rise in their success in some cases, or the artist gets dismissed as a total sellout and alienates themself from both their fan base and potential new listeners alike. So, from my understanding artists usually only go this route for one of two reasons, either out of a curiosity to experiment with new styles and see what comes of it, or their managers need them to make a new, more successful piece that has little regard to artistic integrity. At the same time, however, maintaining a consistent image isn’t exactly a smart move either because if the artist doesn’t grow or evolve, then their audience will eventually leave them behind and find something else to listen to. So, what if an artist’s entire appeal is built around them changing and altering their image? Well then you get probably some of the more interesting artists that we’ve seen in music, such as Madonna, Lady Gaga and, of course, David Bowie.

#7. Golden Years (David Bowie) [33; 10; 16 weeks]

I was first introduced to David Bowie when I was just a wee lad, around my early elementary school years and I was shown the film ‘Labyrinth.’ Oh, the Jim Henson muppet work was definitely what caught most of my attention, but I’d be lying if I were to say I didn’t end up hearing Bowie’s songs from that film playing in my head years down the line. I don’t know if anyone realizes this, but it took David Bowie about a decade, since the start of his solo career in 1964, to actually see any chart success. And even after that he didn’t score any hits in the top 40 until three years later. His ‘Young Americans’ album was when he finally managed to capture the attention of people in, well, America, but it was ‘Fame,’ his first number one single, that established him as a star. He did manage to score another hit when he rereleased ‘Space Oddity’ that year, but it was ‘Golden Years’ that served as the true follow up that proved that, yes, Bowie was not just some flash-in-the-pan that was going to disappear anytime soon. How does it fair?

Well, let’s look at the lyrics. Now, from my understanding, the ‘golden years’ are actually the point in one’s life where one has reached the point of retirement, usually referring to those at least 65 years and older. I didn’t quite understand what the song was about at first, but then I found out that he originally wrote the song for Elvis Presley, who wound up turning it down. That gives the song a bit more clarity, for me anyway, since this was around the last few years of Elvis Presley’s life, so at this point these were his ‘golden years’ I guess you could say. The rest of the song talks about how, despite life hitting some low points, it doesn’t do any good to act like life’s going nowhere; don’t look back at how you could’ve lived your life, but make the most out of what life you have left. And this holds especially true for the golden years of one’s life, since at that point you’ve lived out your entire life up to that point. If the song’s directed at Elvis, this makes sense since it would basically be telling him, “Don’t dwell on the ‘what-ifs’ or the ‘if-onlys’ of the past; you’ve got a very impressive legacy behind you. Take pride in that and live the rest of your life to the fullest!” Of course, Elvis ended up dying two years after this song was released, so there you have it.

However, considering Elvis never accepted the song, and again, the fact that he wound up dying two years later, that context doesn’t really work. So, without that, what does the song have left? Well, for starters, a smooth guitar line. That is the driving force behind the entire song, and it does so beautifully. The percussion in this song is rather eclectic at points, but that works to the song’s favor also; it helps make it distinct. In fact, the song progression is just great in general. It constantly builds on itself as it goes through each verse and interchanges between its two choruses. Yes, this song has two choruses. It flips between them with each verse, and both of them serve to bring the song to different high points.

Of course, there’s still one element that I think is responsible for bringing all of these other elements together: the fact that he’s David fucking Bowie! The man is a talented musician and singer, and he definitely shows his chops here. I seriously think people are over thinking this song. It’s not meant to be directed at anyone in particular; it’s not trying to present a message to anyone. It exists for David Bowie to show off how awesome he is. Also, while Bowie originally wrote this song for Elvis, I feel like it probably wouldn’t have really worked in his hands, not at this stage in his career anyway. Seriously, given the choice between this version of the song and Elvis’s deterioration in health and musical quality, I’ll take Bowie any day of the week.

David Bowie: more awesome than you. Deal with it.

#6.

Okay, last one for this list, I swear.

#6. Play That Funky Music (Wild Cherry) [5; 1; 17 weeks]

This is kind of an oddball choice for me to be including on this list. The reason I say that is mostly because I feel like, considering its background, I feel like I should hate this song. I mean, it’s a song that front man Rob Parissi wrote in five minutes on a drink order pad that’s basically a song all about the band’s story and told in a way that it glorifies selling out. Even if I can’t bring myself to hate on the song, it’s certainly not a song I can fully respect because of what it represents. In fact, I kind of feel dirty for including this song on the list at all. This shouldn’t deserve to be considered one of the best hit songs of the year.

However, at the same time, I need to remember that this is meant to be an honest list. And in all honesty, despite the fact that I can’t respect the song, I can’t really find it in me to hate on it either. As much as I hate what the song represents, I can’t deny the quality of the separate parts. The bass line, Parissi’s vocals, the horn section, I love all of these elements. They just tie together neatly and give the song a fun, groovy feel that is a perfect blend of rock music and funk music. I will admit, Wild Cherry weren’t unique or groundbreaking in their decision to blend funk and rock music, but they were probably the ones that created the best song at this particular point in time that did so. This didn’t just combine the two genres; it was a unique creation that belonged completely to Wild Cherry and no one else.

Also, for as harsh as I just was about the theme that the song represented, it does still have some positive themes behind it that I can totally get behind. Yeah, it’s just studio hacks cashing in on a trend. Yeah, it’s a statement by the band about how great it is to sell out. However, at the same time, it also represents uniting two different musical forms. In fact, it’s also a representation of, not just uniting musical forms, but uniting people of different skin color, a showcase that even white people can enjoy and perhaps even come to understand black music. Even if you didn’t originally like a certain genre of music, that didn’t mean that you couldn’t still come to understand or possibly even like it.

Of course, we still have to thank Vanilla Ice for completely tarnishing this song with his abysmal version fifteen years later. However, I’ve already gone on about that particular catastrophe, so let’s just move along, shall we?

#5.

1976 marked a very significant period for English composer and singer Elton John, who saw his peak in commercial success and critical acclaim between 1970 and 1976. Between ’72 and ’75, seven of his albums consecutively peaked the Billboard 200 albums charts, he was forced to fire long time friends and fellow musicians Nigel Olsson and Dean Murray, who had worked with him since his debut album, he collaborated with the likes of John Lennon of the Beatles and played a character in the Who’s rock opera ‘Tommy,’ and additionally, during an interview with Rolling Stone, John revealed that he was bisexual. That by itself represents a pretty hefty amount of stuff to happen to a guy within such a short period of time. How best to bring a period of such significance to a close?

#5. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (Elton John & Kiki Dee) [2; 1; 15 weeks]

…No complaints here.

Being perfectly honest, I like Elton John as a performer. Let me make it clear, personality wise he comes across as kind of a dork, but he’s a charming dork. Yeah, a lot of the time he wrote plenty of slow tempo ballads, which to be fair are not all bad, but he’s also written plenty of fun, upbeat songs like ‘Benny and the Jets,’ ‘Crocodile Rock’ and ‘Honky Cat’. When I think of Elton John as a performer, I don’t think of him as a singer-songwriter ballad performer; I see the guy in the music video for this song, the guy with the grandma glasses and the cheesy suit and yet who manages to make the look work. If you want an example of actual good ‘70s cheese, Elton John is a good place to start, provided you steer clear of his attempts at reggae.

But I’m not here to talk about where Elton John goes wrong. No, I’m here to talk about his big hit from 1976, ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,’ a duet he performs with fellow English singer Kiki Dee, and a prime example of where Elton John goes right. I may have down talked the kitschier side of ‘70s music on my worst list, but this song is a case where the song’s cheesiness is actually one of its strengths. There’s just a sense of earnestness in how the two of them play off each other; they have good microphone chemistry. In contrast to Donnie and Marie Osmond’s wretched duet from this year, whose atrocious butchering of a ‘20s and ‘30s classic made me want to vomit whenever I heard it, this song has a certain charm to it that excuses the fact that the two performers come across as kind of dorky. There’s just something adorable about Elton John and Kiki Dee’s interplay that gives them that charm, and I don’t think that’s something that Donnie, or any of the Osmonds for that matter, could ever hope to achieve.

Okay, so maybe I’ve got a bigger stomach for ‘70s cheese than I thought. However, this wasn’t the only song of this type to end up on this list. Speaking of which…

#4.

As it happens, Elton John wasn’t the only one to experience an end to a peak of success in 1976. Although, at the very least Elton John was able to keep himself buoyant on the charts at points after this year, even if he never reached the same height in success that he achieved during the early to mid ‘70s. The same, however, can most definitely not be said of this next act, which would pretty much disappear by 1977. That said, I’d say it’s a good thing that they went out on a grace note like this one; it’s rare that a musical act gets to end on a positive note like this.

#4. December 1963 (Oh, What a Night) (The Four Seasons) [4; 1; 16 weeks]

The Four Seasons are honestly kind of a frustrating act for me, particularly front man Frankie Valli. I know they’re a staple of classic American rock music, but there have been people that were turned off by Valli’s falsetto voice, and sadly I’m one of those people. Whenever he tries to sing in his upper register, it’s like he’s pretending to mock his teacher telling him to sit down and do his homework or something. And I say this as someone that will admit that he probably has a greater tolerance for falsetto singing than most people, hell as someone who occasionally has to rely on falsetto to hit some notes that are outside my normal vocal range. And yet, I wince in pain whenever I hear the nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of Frankie Valli’s pipes. Fortunately, ‘December 1963’ resolves this problem in two very significant ways. Firstly, Frankie Valli restricts himself to his regular singing range. His voice admittedly does still kind of sound like a machine generated it on this song, but to be fair, better is better. Secondly, Valli is barely featured on this song at all. He does still feature between the verses, singing one of the bridges, but besides that the rest of the band does most of the vocals on the song, and it is a welcome change, not to knock Frankie Valli’s singing or anything.

Regardless, with just these two details of the song toned down, the rest of the group’s positive elements are able to shine more prominently. If there’s one thing the group is really good at it’s writing upbeat, catchy melodies, and this song probably has them writing what’s easily their catchiest of all. The simple piano riff helps carry the melody while the bass line and percussion help to offer support, and it all comes together really nicely. And of course, it’s all topped off with lead vocals from drummer Gerry Polci, and additional vocals from bassist Don Ciccone, whose falsetto voices, while not necessarily being as powerful as Valli’s, are definitely a lot more pleasant to listen to. Much like ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ though, I can’t help but feel like there’s something of a cheesy element to the song. However, also like ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,’ it works in the song’s favor, giving it a feeling of cheer and merriment.

Of course, this still leaves the subject matter and lyrical content. I’ll just cut to the chase here: it’s a song about sex. Specifically, it’s a song describing a particularly specific experience the narrator had with a woman that he sees as a pinnacle of beauty and grace. He didn’t just get it on with her; he felt like the experience changed him, possibly indicating that this was the narrator’s first experience with sex. However, rather than have it be clumsy or awkward, the experience was mystifying, mesmerizing, an experience that brought him some form of what he seems to describe as enlightenment. Granted, once you get down to it, it’s basically just another sex song tiptoeing around actually straight up mentioning the word sex. However, it’s the energy of the song and the earnestness of the lyrics and tone that put it leagues above ‘Afternoon Delight;’ where that song was dull, boring and edgeless, ‘December 1963’ is joyous and uplifting, which in a way is the kind of experience one would want to get out of sexual intercourse, presumably.

Frankie Valli himself managed to score one last number one hit song with the title track to the musical Grease in 1978, and never achieved any further success after that save for a remix of ‘December 1963’ released in 1994. And since then he and the Four Seasons have yet to release any new material. However, again, I feel like if they had to go out on any kind of note, I’m glad that it was this one. It’s a very special song for me, as I remember what a night.

#3.

Now, I think that I’ve made it clear at this point that I’m not an expert on every genre of music out there, hell probably not even an expert on any genre of music. I don’t have a full grasp on things like rap music or country music or R&B. However, if there were one genre that I can comfortably say I have some level of familiarity with it would have to be rock music. I was raised on groups like Elvis, the Beatles, The Who and Simon and Garfunkel, and I even listened to a number of rock groups in middle and high school. So, suffice to say I’m no stranger to rock music. So, naturally, I guess it’s no surprise that I’d be drawn to the ‘70s since that was considered the golden age of rock and roll. And indeed, the top three songs on this list are all rock songs. I realize that kind of indicates something of a bias on my part. But I will say that these songs wouldn’t be on this list if I didn’t think they deserved the praise I’m about to heap on them shortly. So, time to wrap this list up with the top three, starting with…

#3. Fox on the Run (Sweet) [76; 5; 6 weeks]

To anyone that makes a FNAF reference for the ‘Foxy on the run’ line, you are not clever!

Sweet originated in the UK, and were originally a group that mixed bubblegum pop with hard rock, with their main influences stemming from groups such as the Monkees, the Archies and The Who. Around this time, however, they’d pretty much gotten fed up with their management and decided to try to go straight up hard rock, with this song being the first single the group wrote and produced by themselves, as opposed to studio executives. And, honestly, I’m glad that they were able to gain some level of control over their careers. There’s just something satisfying about an artist getting more creative and artistic control over their material, at least if said artist is actually good. And yeah folks, Sweet honestly were a good group.

As I said, most of Sweet’s music was influenced by ‘60s sugary bubblegum pop, with some doses of hard rock thrown in, and the mix really does work wonders for them. The hard rock gives their music driving force and edge while the pop influences help to make it catchy and upbeat. If you want a good example of this, try going back and listening to one of their biggest songs: ‘The Ballroom Blitz.’ That song is rowdy and bombastic and over the top, but there’s still some sense of control over the sound, and that all works to the song’s advantage.

I have to say though; I think ‘Fox On the Run’ may top even that. All the elements from ‘The Ballroom Blitz’ are present, but here they all seem to be turned up to eleven. It just feels like the band was given the opportunity to let loose more on this song, yet despite this it’s somehow even catchier! The addition of synthesizers helps with pushing the song even more over the top; it’ll probably be a breaking point for some people and launch it into serious cheese territory, but I quite liked it. And of course, they’ve added in the fantastic ‘wall of sound’ effect that most have come to associate with the likes of Queen, and they utilize it fantastically! This doesn’t just feel like a song being performed by one person backed by a band; it feels like everyone in the band has an equal share of contribution to the song.

Songs like this are the reason I really enjoy putting these lists together. Just hearing this song gets me feeling pumped up and ready for the day. It is glorious, and that’s all there really is to say on the matter.

#2.

You know, considering how much black music saw a lot of success this year, I feel like it’s a shame that there aren’t more black artists on this list. Let’s change that!

#2. The Boys Are Back In Town (Thin Lizzy) [87; 12; 8 weeks]

Thin Lizzy are yet another European act, though unlike Sweet they originated in Ireland. This also made lead singer and bassist Phil Lynott the first black Irishman to achieve commercial success in rock music. They didn’t really see much success prior to 1976, with only their cover of the Irish folk song ‘Whiskey in the Jar’ seeing any success, peaking at number one in Ireland and charting in the UK and various other countries in Europe. However, with the release of their sixth studio album ‘Jailbreak,’ they were not only able to achieve their second number one single in Ireland, but also a top 20 hit in America. And listening to it, it’s not hard to see why.

The guitars are the main driving force of this song, but they do a brilliant job at it. Thin Lizzy at this point in their tenure utilized two lead guitarists, much like Judas Priest, the ones here performed by guitarists Scott Gorham and Brian Robertson, and they really add to the song. I especially love the segment that always plays after the chorus; it just really helps hit home the sense of optimism that the song’s trying to shoot for. The song is much more uplifting and happy than most of Thin Lizzy’s other singles up to this point, which tended to lean more towards folk and blues music. It’s a welcome departure from their usual musical sound.

As for the lyrics and subject matter, the song speaks of, presumably, the return of close friends, a grand celebration to welcome them back home. As grand as that kind of merriment could come across coming from anyone, Lynott really sells the sentiment in his delivery. His soulful, passionate performance is able to match the bombast and exuberance the guitarists built up. And, of course, that brings us to the chorus itself. I don’t usually like it when a song’s chorus is built around a single line repeated over and over, but every outcry of ‘The boys are back in town!’ just builds on top of the ones before, really helping to push the song over the top. Besides, it’s not like the chorus needed much else to add to it. I mean, what more is there to say? The boys are back in town! That alone sounds like reason to get excited!

I just really enjoy listening to this song; just hearing it puts me in a good mood. And yet, despite this, there was one more song that came out this year that I liked more than this. What could it be? Well, let’s move on and find out.

#1.

If any of you know anything about the music of 1976, you’ve probably already guessed what this next song is. And if someone you’re reading this list with hasn’t guessed it yet, feel free to smack that person on the back of the head. I wasn’t kidding when I said that there was a lot of good music this year and that all the good music was amazingly good. I mean, the honorable mentions list should be indication enough of that. However, when it all came down to it, there was only one song that could possibly have made the number one spot for this list.

#1. Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen) [18; 9; 17 weeks]

I honestly really struggled with the decision to put this song on the list. I will admit, prior to putting this list together, I was kind of sick of this song. I’d heard it so often, so frequently that it was really wearing out on me. And yet, when I sat down to listen to the song for this list, after having gone without listening to it for quite some time, I was amazed to find that it still held up. However, that just raised the question of whether or not I should include it on the list. I didn’t want to include the song on the list just because I kind of liked it despite the over exposure or just because it’s a song people would be expecting to see on the list. So, I went back and listened through it a couple of times, and ultimately came to the decision to include it because it’s just legitimately a great song.

Sadly, I feel like I’m also significantly underprepared to analyze this song. I mean, hundreds of other people have done so before me, and have likely made every interpretation that could possibly be made about this song, I mean, what am I supposed to talk about? I guess I could discuss how the song draws on contemporary rock ideology, the individualism of the bohemian artists’ world and the ‘rhapsody’ in the title affirming the romantic ideals of art rock. Or I could talk about how the song is a mock opera, divided into various sections, starting with a closed five-part harmonized a capella intro before transitioning into a piano ballad, then a guitar solo by Brian May, then a fast paced, operatic segment that varies in dynamics and illustrates the narrator’s descent into Hell, then the hard rock ‘bridge’ of the song, I guess you could call it, before finally closing with a minute-long outro that brings the song full circle by returning to the tempo and form of the intro. Or I could discuss how the song lyrically describes a man questioning whether his life experiences were real or just fantasy, revealing that he’s just killed a man and in doing so having thrown his life away, showing serious regret for his actions before bidding the world good-bye and expressing that he does not want to die, before falling into Hell and making references to Scaramouche, the fandango, Galileo Galilei, Figaro and Bismillah as various factions fight over his soul before concluding that Beelzebub already has plans for what to do with him, then accusing an unspecified second-person audience of betrayal and abuse, seeming to call back to the events that may have led to his earlier described act of murder before ultimately concluding by exclaiming ‘Nothing really matters to me, any way the wind blows.’  

I could talk in further detail about all of these things, but unfortunately, I do not have the patience, or the level of analytical experience to be able to pull that off without retreading what others before me have already said. And even if I had either of those things, I shouldn’t have to; this song is already universally accepted as one of the greatest songs in music history, and it’s not hard to see why! Not only does it demonstrate how a song doesn’t necessarily need to stick to the conventional songwriting formula that we’ve seen done to death at this point, but it is a shining demonstration of the idea that just because something is popular doesn’t mean it automatically has to suck! This song is a goddamn masterpiece, and I am glad that being able to put this list together gave me the opportunity to examine it in greater detail and better appreciate the separate parts that come together to create a magnificent whole!

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen: even if it’s not the greatest song of all time, it is most definitely, without question, the absolute best hit song of 1976.