Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 1974

Sorry if I got particularly venomous on my previous list, folks. It’s not like 1974 was a particularly bad year on the whole. Like I said though, where this year went bad it went truly awful. Would I call this the worst year of all time? No. I’ve covered far, far worse years than this before. This doesn’t even match up to years like 2001 or 1962 in terms of terrible music.

The main reason for that is because, while this year went pretty bad at its worst, it was also pretty awesome at its best. The good songs didn’t all just come from one-off acts that would never achieve that same success ever again. We’d also be seeing some established or newer artists that would go on to be big hits of their time. And we’d even be seeing some newer trends that would take off this year and blossom into some of the songs we’d be seeing in later years of the ‘70s. But enough background! Let’s jump right into the good stuff, starting with our honorable mentions.

American Tune (Paul Simon) [--; 35; 3 weeks]

Paul Simon is one of the few artists I know that can perform a white-guy-with-acoustic-guitar song and not sound like a bro. That’s because when he sings about heartache and pain, he sounds sincere. This isn’t a song offering to lift someone up and assure them that they’ll take care of them; this is soul-crushing reality slowly engulfing you.

Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe (Barry White) [--; 1; 9 weeks]

Dear God, this man’s voice! It’s like a manly nightingale gently serenading you! This particular song is a lot like ‘Hooked On a Feeling’, in that it’s about how great it is to be in love. Of course, where that song was graceful and romantic, this one is smooth and rich like a fresh jar of Skippy. And where most spoken-word segments in songs like this are ridiculous and shatter the atmosphere, Barry White’s only adds to it. Latimore, take some notes; this is how you do it.

Let Your Hair Down (The Temptations) [--; 27; 4 weeks]

A surprising number of ‘60s acts managed to keep afloat this year. This wasn’t the best of them, but it is still an awesome demonstration that the Temptations were able to adapt well to the changes to music brought about in the ‘70s. The song has a very funky sound, what with the more prominent horns section and the group’s much looser vocal performances.

Let It Ride (Bachman-Turner Overdrive) [--; 23; 9 weeks]

I guess you could consider this exhibit ‘B’ in my defense of Canadian music. Bachman-Turner Overdrive had a few hits this year, but this was their best by far. With a smooth bass line, some rocking drums and perfectly blended harmonies carrying this song, it is a masterwork of ‘70s rock.

Piano Man (Billy Joel) [--; 25; 4 weeks]

Oh, like this song needs an introduction. It would’ve made the list if it had charted higher or longer. This is a great example of Billy Joel telling a story through song. All the minute details that went into the lyrics for this song do an excellent job painting the scene that he’s setting. It might not have been a big hit, but it’s definitely earned its place as Billy Joel’s most iconic song.

Now that’s taken care of, I broke all the rules but I must let the show go on. We’re counting down…

…THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 1974!

#10.

How familiar is everyone with the Eurovision Song Contest? Well, too bad; I’m talking about it anyway. It’s the longest-running annual international TV song competition, generally held between countries that are members of the European Broadcasting Union since 1956. And in 1973’s Eurovision contest, one of the most successful, but also controversial, songs to appear came from Spain.

#10. Eres tú (Mocedades) [62; 9; 11 weeks]

This is Mocedades, a Spanish singing group from the Basque Country. They were originally formed in 1967 as Las Hermanas Uranga based on the three Uranga sisters that made up the group. Eventually their brothers and friends were added and they became Voces y guitarras, taking much of their inspiration from folk and spiritual music, as well as the Beatles. After a year of performing around their hometown, they sent a demo cassette to producer Juan Carlos Calderón, who took an interest in the group and named them Mocedades. They didn’t see much success outside of their home country, but they managed one hit with the song they used to represent Spain at the 1973 Eurovision contest.

“Eres tú” translates from Spanish to mean “you are”, with the narrator describing someone she views as many things, from a summer morning to a guitar in the night. It relies a lot on similes, though I feel like its simplicity works to its benefit. The song relies more on the vocals than on the words themselves, and the vocals present a beautiful delivery, especially on the harmonies.

That’s not to say the music doesn’t also support the song. The primarily guitar-driven melody serves as a nice framework for the rest of the song. And the brass and string instruments accent various segments in the song nicely, swelling certain moments to sound grander than they would otherwise sound normally.

Mocedades were charged with plagiarizing with this song, specifically with it being a rewrite of the Yugoslavia song from the 1966 Eurovision. Looking back, I do hear the similarities, but even if it was stealing, Mocedades made the song their own. The original song, ‘Brez Besed’ was a generic ballad that could have been sung by anyone, where ‘Eres tú’ was a group performance that had better production and vocals. It’s a solid tune, like a smile, like a poem, like a guitar in the night.

#9.

Considering Dionne Warwick’s second to Aretha Franklin as most charted female vocalist, it seems to make sense to compare the two. They’re both female African American singers that started out in the early ‘60s, and both of them saw scattered success over the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. However, the artist that Warwick’s style reminds me of the most is Diana Ross. The two of them tend to sing softer ballads that contrast more from Aretha Franklin’s much louder, more boisterous songs. Of course, I’m not sure either Aretha Franklin or Diana Ross would release a song like this:

#9. Then Came You (Dionne Warwick & the Spinners) [47; 1; 15 weeks]

The ‘70s were a pretty rough time for Dionne Warwick. With the shift to Warner Bros. Records, she saw the departure of long time collaborators Burt Bacharach and Hal David, who helped pen her earlier work. This was the only hit she managed at this label, and even its success could largely be attributed to the rising prominence of the Spinners. But is it any good?

Well, let’s start by looking at the instrumentation and production. The song is primarily driven by keyboard, with drums and synthesizers accenting it at various points. It’s a pretty basic setup, but it creates a very warm atmosphere, which is what the song needs. A lot of soul tracks tended to be soft and slow, whereas this one is mid-tempo and has more energy to it. 

That brings us to the lyrics and subject matter. The song talks about how the singers are in love with each other. They never knew love until they met that special someone, presumably each other. And it feels bubbly and happy, which is how a love song should feel. I believe that the singers have genuinely discovered love for the first time and feel like it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever experienced. It also helps that this is Dionne Warwick’s best vocal performance.

Neither act would fully achieve the same success again. Dionne Warwick revitalized her career by switching to Arista Records at the end of the ‘70s, and managed another #1 hit, but you can’t say her work after this song was her best. As for the Spinners, they managed scattered success through to the beginning of the ‘80s, but they would never top the charts again. Even so, this song plays to both acts’ strengths well and was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise dull, forgettable year.

#8.

As it turns out, it wasn’t just the acts of the ‘60s that bled over into this year. Some artists even adapted the styles of the ‘60s too, like this:

#8. Beach Baby (The First Class) [94; 4; 11 weeks]

The First Class was a British pop group consisting of singer-songwriter John Carter and singers Tony Burrows and Chas Mills. Carter also contributed to hit songs from Brenda Lee, Herman’s Hermits and the Ivy Leauge. Tony Burrows performed lead vocals for a number of one-hit wonders’ songs, specifically ‘Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)’ by Edison Lighthouse, ‘My Baby Loves Lovin’’ by White Plains, ‘Gimme Dat Ding’ by the Pipkins and ‘United We Stand’ by the Brotherhood of Man. This wasn’t even the only time these two men collaborated, as Burrows also sang lead vocals on the Carter-penned Flower Pot Men song ‘Let’s Go to San Francisco’.

This particular song sees them trying out the upbeat, surfer-craze type song that was characteristic of the Beach Boys. Apparently, this craze was barely still going but wouldn’t last much longer after this. I think they did a nice job with it. The song does quite a bit with the theme of the song, painting surprising detail about this teen romance, from ruining the girl’s dress with soda pop to the ring the girl said she’d wear.

If there’s one thing that kind of drags the song down for me, it’s the last minute of the song. Up until that point it’s fine, with strong music and good lyrics. However, that last portion just sees them repeating the phrase ‘beach baby’ endlessly, and it feels kind of lazy. I know I haven’t made a good case to state otherwise, but I try not to harp on songs for the use of repetition. I just wish they’d added in a bridge or another verse or something there instead.

Besides that though, I like this song. For those that would argue that they were basically just trying to copy the style of the Beach Boys, I just have to say, “Yeah. And?” The Beach Boys themselves had already started dropping off in quality by this point, so it’s not like we were getting any good music from them at the time. I’ll take the one-hit wonder successfully emulating their style over the fading genuine article, thanks.

#7.

With how the political climate has been looking lately, it feels kind of fitting that I pull out a song like this next one. I say this because, if there were any song that properly reflected people’s opinions of the current U.S. president, this would probably be it.

#7. You Haven’t Done Nothin’ (Stevie Wonder) [--; 1; 14 weeks]

The ‘70s were incredibly kind to Stevie Wonder. Not only was this a commercially successful period for him, it also saw him exercising a lot more control over his output and creating high quality material as a result. I feel like this is one of his less known songs from this period, which is a shame because it is glorious.

It’s worth noting that this is a political song. Specifically, it’s a very angry statement directed at then US president Richard Nixon, released two days before he resigned no less. And it feels like an angry song; the lyrics are very scathing, criticizing the president’s claims to making change, and even accusing him of spreading lies to pacify the American public.  

It’s interesting that the message of the song should be this angry because the music is this energetic, funky sound that contrasts with that greatly. It features a thick Hohner clavinet, keyboard horns, hi-hats, a crash cymbal and an early appearance of the drum machine, all played by Stevie Wonder himself. A smooth electric bass line courtesy of Reggie McBride accents all that, and the cherry on top is the fantastic background vocals provided by the Jackson 5.

If I had one minor nitpick, it’s that the song sounds uncomfortably similar to Stevie Wonder’s other big hit from this period, ‘Superstition’. They’re even in the same key signature and everything. The song probably would’ve placed higher on this list if not for that. Otherwise, it’s a deliciously funky tune from one of the greatest artists of the ‘70s at his peak.

#6.

You know what group seems to seriously get underrepresented in pop music? Native Americans. Seriously, outside of Taboo of the Black Eyed Peas and Kid Cudi I can’t really think of that many that have had hits. So I guess it’s nice to know that in 1974 we’d be seeing them, not just represented, but represented by a really good band.

#6. Come and Get Your Love (Redbone) [4; 5; 18 weeks]

So, normally I’d start off by describing a bit of background regarding the song to set up for talking about its separate parts. However, I’m not really sure there’s a lot to this song in terms of its background. It’s just a simple pop rock song. I think that’s what I like about it though: it’s simplicity. It doesn’t try to be anything more than what it is.

There are two things about this song that placed it on the list. The first is the electric sitar that’s interspersed throughout the song. Those sitar licks are what make this song stand out; they’re a unique element that you don’t see in a lot of songs, even back then. The other element that works in this song’s favor is the chorus. I usually don’t like it when a song builds its entire chorus around a single line, but “Come and get your love” pretty much says all that’s needed. The song’s just a happy, upbeat love song that doesn’t require much thought going into it.

I guess something else to note about this song is that it appeared on the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1’ album. So it’s kind of a counterbalance to the album also having Blue Swede’s terrible cover of ‘Hooked On a Feeling’. Having this song play at the beginning of the film was the right move honestly; it did a much better job setting the tone for the film than the song meant to represent the film did.

I feel like I’m really struggling to talk about most of these songs. Still, I’m halfway through the list. I can do this…

#5.

I think part of the reason people view this year as the worst of the ‘70s was because this was the year that saw the introduction of disco music into the mainstream. I can kind of understand why people hate the genre, but I disagree with it being a bad thing, on the whole anyway. It added some much-needed energy to the pop charts, which were bogged down with endless adult contemporary pieces and disposable garbage. As it happens, we had a number of funk and disco songs chart this year, and this was probably the best of them.

#5. Jungle Boogie (Kool & the Gang) [12; 4; 16 weeks]

I realize this isn’t really a disco song technically and is more funk, but it came out around the time that disco was starting to take off in the mainstream, so I’m counting it. This might not have been the song that started the disco trend, but it’s the one everyone remembers best from its early years, and for good reason.

On a basic level, there really isn’t a lot to this song. The music is funky, sure, but besides that the song would be no different from any other funk or disco song of the time. All except for one thing: the spoken word segments that pepper the song. Those brief snippets of guttural vocals really push the song over the top, both in ridiculousness and in energy. Without those, there’s really no other point to the song.

That’s not to say the rest of the song isn’t good on top of that. The guitar breaks accented by the horns help to break up the song’s monotony and the lyrics, while nonsensical, mean that the song isn’t just a featureless instrumental track. Each of the separate parts of the song come together to create a complete whole, and taking out any of them would render the rest of the song meaningless.

I think it’s fitting that this was the song that put Kool & the Gang on the map. Most of their songs up to this year didn’t have ‘Jungle Boogie’s iconic element that made the group stand out. And unlike most ‘70s funk acts, they actually managed to survive the death of disco and persist into the ‘80s. All of that is thanks to this one song.

#4.

When it comes to Elton John’s music, most people tend to avoid his popular singles. That’s not to say his popular songs are bad; people just don’t seem to gravitate towards them as much as his less popular material. Of course, there is one song of his that even those people seem to enjoy:

#4. Bennie and the Jets (Elton John) [9; 1; 16 weeks]

I admit I didn’t get this song at first. It’s this ridiculous, slow-paced song with lyrics that don’t seem to be about anything. Even Elton John’s singing, which I normally like, just sounds off-kilter and hokey here. But after a few more listens, I started getting a better idea about what people liked about it.

First off, let’s look at those lyrics, shall we? The song describes a fictional band that the narrator is a fan of. Though it does so in a way that also kind of makes fun of their style and especially their fashion. This song was apparently written as a satire of the greed and glitz of the early ‘70s music scene. This can be heard in the walls of sound and electric boots the band in the song sports.

That brings us to the production and composition. ‘Bennie and the Jets’ has been described as one of the oddest songs Elton John has ever recorded. Gus Dungeon, the song’s producer, decided to give the song a “live from Playhouse Theatre” sound, adding in reverb effects, applause, whistles and audience sounds from John’s previous concerts, plus a loop from Isle of Wight, the live Jimi Hendrix album, making the recording sound like a live concert performance. In addition, Elton John rarely places the song exactly like the recording, often changing the sound in various ways. The piano solo, for example, has been played in many variations, from extending it to improvising it.

I still wouldn’t call this my favorite Elton John song; he’s had better. I don’t think he’s had a song as interesting as this one though. We need more hit songs taking chances and satirizing the bland, samey-sounding trends of the time and doing so well.

#3.

I’ve spoken before of how I’m a fan of ‘70s rock music. My love for Queen should be more than enough proof of that. Still though, I haven’t really had the chance to talk about a different style of ‘70s rock, particularly around this time frame. This style also took influence from country music and blues and is viewed by many as an important contribution to the development of rock music that’s been minimized in its history. I am, of course, speaking of Southern rock.

#3. Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Skynyrd) [--; 8; 11 weeks]

I realize this will probably be a bit of a controversial choice, saying I actually like one of the most prideful, defiant Southern songs in a time when people are rioting and being assaulted on the premise of their race or who they voted for, but I’m going to stand by it. I’m not saying I stand by all the discrimination that had become associated with the South at the time, but I feel like it can be just as bad to lump everyone on one side of a debate into this one specific caricature or stereotype of their group, regardless of their opinions or beliefs. So a song like this that’s not just proud but openly defiant of the stereotypes associated with the South is something I can respect.

Speaking of which, let’s focus on the lyrics. This song was specifically written as a response to two Neil Young songs: ‘Southern Man’ and ‘Alabama’. They’re pretty much the same song, both about the prejudice that had come to be associated with the South at this time, what with the passing of the Civil Rights Act and the general unrest related to racism and its dismantling. ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ firmly states that not all Southerners are like that. It reaffirms that Southerners are Americans too and they have more to their culture.

Of course, what really wins me over with this song is the production and instrumentation. It’s primarily driven by guitar, with the piano serving to accent various segments. And despite the pride in the lyrics, the song has a very laid back feel that makes it seem warm and inviting. The song’s not just celebrating Southern pride; it’s welcoming the listener to celebrate as well.

I just appreciate that Lynyrd Skynyrd decided to stand up and write something this defiant of how people viewed the South. And I’m not even a Southerner myself. If this isn’t enough to justify my placement of this song on this list in your eyes, then I’ll at least close with this: at least it’s better than what Kid Rock did with the song. Ugh…Moving along.

#2.

It turns out the Beach Boys weren’t the only ‘60s act that had lost its edge by 1974. There were also the Beatles, who, after splitting up, were now pursuing solo careers to varying degrees of success and quality. It’s a shame that I have to put it that way because with how lacking in memorable songs this year was, the general public could’ve really used some Beatles music to keep things fresh. Fortunately, there was one band that was willing to deliver when the Beatles themselves were unable to.

#2. Overnight Sensation (Hit Record) (The Raspberries) [--; 18; 6 weeks]

Am I the only one that thinks it’s kind of funny that a British act was trying to be like an American act while an American act was trying to be like a British act this year? Okay, the Raspberries weren’t only taking inspiration from the Beatles, but other British Invasion era acts as well, like the Who, the Hollies and Small Faces. That influence is certainly noticeable on this track, and I only see this as a good thing.

The lyrics talk about how the narrator wants to hear a song he wrote and put together on the radio, not for the fame or for the money or the attention, but just to hear it on the radio. This isn’t exactly a humble sentiment, but it is an interesting one. As a creative person myself, I understand the desire to hear or see something you put a part of yourself into put out publically and have it get some form of recognition. So, in a way, this song kind of speaks to me.

That leaves the instrumentation and production. I said that the band took inspiration from the British Invasion acts from the ‘60s, but the sound of this song is still recognizably ‘70s-ish. It’s a sign that the band had evolved from their earlier work, which didn’t seem to give them much of an identity outside of just being a throwback band. I especially love the harmonies during the “overnight sensation” line at the end of the chorus, and during the outro; they’re just beautiful and make me think of a precursor to the harmonies Queen would become famous for during the ‘70s.

I think ‘Overnight Sensation’ is the Raspberries’ best song, and a seriously underrated one too. It’s a shame it was the band’s last hit song. Although, while the band wouldn’t have another hit, they would still serve as pioneers to the power pop style, which took off after they disbanded. In a way, I guess they were an overnight sensation, if by “overnight” you mean “here and then gone all in the span of one night”, or five years I suppose.

#1.

If I’m being perfectly honest folks, I had a lot of trouble writing this list. Most of these songs were pretty tricky for me to write about, especially the ones by acts who only had a handful of hits. I bring this up because, out of all the songs I put on this list, this next one might be the one that gave me the most trouble to write about. I was still able to find information about the other songs that appeared on this list on Wikipedia, Allmusic or Songfacts, but I could find pretty much nothing on this next song, which is a shame because it is a true gem. So without further ado, I present the Righteous Brothers.

#1. Give It to the People (The Righteous Brothers) [--; 20; 4 weeks]

1974 was a pretty significant year for the Righteous Brothers. This was six years after the duo initially split up and started doing their own things. This year the pair reunited and weeks later released their big comeback single ‘Rock and Roll Heaven’, an ode to deceased rock singers that successfully reestablished the Righteous Brothers’ position in the spotlight. I thought that song was okay, but I think ‘Give It to the People’ might top even that.

Let’s start by talking about the lyrics. The song starts by seeming to reflect on a man’s introduction to music, but over the course of the song, becomes more about the narrator’s love of performing. Having been in my fair share of performance groups in the past, I can safely say I connect with this. I’m familiar with the excitement of performing before an audience, the thrill one feels as the curtain rises and the joy it brings to hear thunderous applause after each song.

What really wins me over, however, is the way they sing it. They perform the song with all the passion and intensity of people who genuinely love music and love singing it. When most people think of the Righteous Brothers, the one they actually remember is Bill Medley, but taking the main melody for this song is the late Bobby Hatfield, and folks, his presentation here is amazing. It’s a clear demonstration that they are a duo and not just Bill Medley running the show.

This song barely qualified for this list. I’m so glad it did though because, while not the Righteous Brothers’ best song, it was still a welcome change in an otherwise mostly unmemorable year. Despite this, both the album and this song seem to have vanished from the public consciousness. That is a crime and a shame, and I implore all of my readers to rectify this. If you can find this song, listen to it. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed. ‘Give It to the People’ by the Righteous Brothers: my choice for the best hit song of 1974.  

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 1974

Hello again folks. Well, it’s been over a year now, so I figured I would take another stab at the ‘70s. This particular year was a suggestion from a friend, and…Well, I’ll say this much, 1974 is not the worst year I’ve covered. It is, however, one of the blandest. Almost none of the music from this year was remotely catchy; the moment after I finished listening to a song I would forget how it went.

I can understand why people label this year the worst for music in the ‘70s, and even to some degree the worst for music period. It’s not bad in any of the interesting ways; the music’s too samey-sounding to be distinguished and too dull to be memorable. Even putting together the worst list was quite difficult because so little inspired a reaction from me. Don’t think for a moment that I wasn’t able to fill out this list though, because where this year went bad, it went terrible. Speaking of which, let’s cut to the chase and start out with our dishonorable mentions, shall we?

I’m a Train (Albert Hammond) [--; 31; 4 weeks]

Albert Hammond repeatedly says he’s a train; that’s the whole song. Also, the nursery rhyme melody irritates the hell out of me. Get used to me saying that, because it’s a recurring problem with a lot of the songs on this list.

One Day at a Time (Marilyn Sellars) [--; 37; 2 weeks]

I’m not making a solid case for myself having nothing against religious music, am I? Look, I can understand why other people like this music, but I just can’t stand songs like this. It’s slow; it’s tedious; its tempo sounds seasick; its lyrics are terribly schmaltzy. And to top it all off, Marilyn Sellars just isn’t a very impassioned singer.

Sugar Baby Love (The Rubettes) [--; 37; 2 weeks]

This made it here almost entirely because of that falsetto voice right at the beginning that could shatter glass. Though, it’s not like the rest of the song makes up for it. It repeats those three words enough times to make your brain hemorrhage, and the harmonies are too lackluster to make up for any of that. And then there’s the spoken-word bridge, which is so laughably bad it’s almost self-parody.

Let’s Straighten It Out (Latimore) [--; 31; 3 weeks]

I didn’t know Barry White’s music until I worked on this list. Having done so, I think it’s safe to say that this Latimore guy was a wannabe. And unfortunately, he lacks all the charisma that Barry White possessed. Not helping matters is that he was given such a dull song to work with. The tempo is so slow I can practically count the sixty-fourth beats between measures.

The Air That I Breathe (The Hollies) [50; 6; 11 weeks]

This song is so corny I can practically see the kernels in its teeth. “Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you”? So, you only need to breathe sometimes? Also, the sentiment’s just so generic. They might as well have said “All I need are my organs” or “All I need is to exist”. Though I guess those wouldn’t have fit the meter.

Now then, hang on in there baby; we’re counting down…

…THE TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 1974!

#10.

Something I noticed about this year was that there were a lot of slow-tempo ballads. I don’t know if that necessarily contributed to this year being as generic as it was, but it certainly didn’t do it any favors. Most of them I was willing to look past, since they weren’t really worth mentioning. I felt like this one warranted mention though, and if you know anything about bad ‘70s music, this act should need no introduction.

#10. Love Me For a Reason (The Osmonds) [--; 10; 7 weeks]

I’ve covered Donny and Marie Osmond previously, but I think this is my first time tackling the Osmond family as a whole. Although, it’s not like I need to; it’s been universally accepted at this point that the Osmonds were terrible. The Osmond family was to the ‘70s what Pat Boone was to the ‘50s and early ‘60s. They performed store-brand, white bread versions of other songs by better artists.

This particular number is a cover of a Johnny Bristol song, one that isn’t too bad. I honestly can’t imagine how much the guy was paid to let the Osmonds desecrate his song, but it couldn’t possibly have been enough. You might not realize this if you look up the lyrics for yourself, but the Osmonds changed half of the verses and even managed to mangle the final verse! I’ve checked every lyric site I can find, and every one of them has the Osmonds’ “revised” edition, leaving Johnny Bristol’s version to the dustbin of history.  

Another issue is that the music to their version is terribly bland. The original had interesting musical elements, including what sounds like a harpsichord driving the melody. The Osmonds’ version is a twinkling, sparkly snoozefest that would’ve fit in with any other song of theirs and not stand out in the slightest. I mean, there are bells there like the original version, but besides that the song sounds nothing like it.

It makes me sick to think that people were more interested in this neutered, stale rice cracker of a song over the original, which of course didn’t chart and has faded from the public consciousness. This charted low because I know the Osmond family is capable of much, much worse.

#9.

I’ve made it no secret that I am not a fan of Ray Stevens. I just don’t understand his sense of humor and the music he makes all tends to require as little thought to go into it as possible. Despite this, he not only saw a lot of success in the ‘60s, but even managed some success into the ‘70s. In fact, we’ll be covering two songs that had Ray Stevens’s influence on them, one now and one later. Although, say what you want about Ray Stevens; at least he had no potential to disappoint people by not achieving. This next artist doesn’t have that excuse.

#9. Rub It In (Billy ‘Crash’ Craddock) [--; 16; 9 weeks]

Technically this song’s a cover and Stevens only produced the original version, but I personally feel that anything he’s touched is beyond salvation. Billy ‘Crash’ Craddock wasn’t a bad artist. He was clearly trying to be Elvis when he started out, and the country music he released soon afterwards was nothing to write home about, but I didn’t have anything against the guy. And yet, I can’t stand his biggest American hit at all.

The first thing you’ll likely notice about this song, and most of the songs on this list, is that it’s hokey as all hell. There’s an overall sense of forced cheer to this song and every nauseating second of it is painful to sit through. It feels like someone told a morbid joke and is still elbowing me in the ribs trying to get a laugh out of me.

Of course, that’s before we get into the lyrics and subject matter. The idea of the song is that it sets up this really suggestive situation of a guy and a girl meeting on the beach, and then it becomes this goofy number about rubbing suntan lotion on one’s skin. First of all, how does this make the song any less suggestive? Rubbing in suntan lotion can still be taken as sexual or sexy. Second of all, where’s the joke? All that’s happening is that the guy’s getting lotion rubbed on him.

Craddock managed more successes on the US and Canadian country charts, and even one more hit with ‘Ruby Baby’, but by the ‘90s he was pretty much gone. Still, that can’t be any comfort to those that had to suffer through this. This song didn’t belong anywhere on the pop charts, and I can’t possibly rub that in enough.

#8.

Going back to the Osmonds for a moment, they were also responsible for causing bad music to happen indirectly during the ‘70s. This next act was originally discovered while touring with the Osmonds, and if there were ever a band whose association with them did them no favors, it was this one.

#8. Billy Don’t Be a Hero (Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods) [21; 1; 12 weeks]

Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods were an act whose success didn’t span past the mid ‘70s. They only managed three chart successes, two of which were covers of British songs that didn’t see success in the US, and all three of which charted this year. Unfortunately, the three of them were disappointingly lackluster, and this one is the worst by far.

First of all, we’re once again treated to a dose of hokey music. I’m not against flutes being used in pop music, but this one isn’t used well at all. It just makes the song sound like what you’d hear at a children’s band performance. It also gives us yet another sing-songy, nursery rhyme melody that we didn’t need any more of.

Then there’s the lyrics and subject matter. Look, I understand that some people find songs about somber subjects like soldiers dying in a war sentimental and emotionally riveting, but that doesn’t make them good. The cheery tune this song used completely clashes with the tone it’s going for. I’m not brought to tears by the sad story of a soldier who died; I just feel like vomiting at how forcefully upbeat the song sounds in contrast.

Due to the timing of this song’s release, some listeners associated it with the Vietnam War. It’s since been stated that it’s referring to an unidentified war, but I feel like that just makes it worse. At least, if it had been connected to the Vietnam War that would’ve given some justification for this song’s existence. As is though, it’s the equivalent of someone writing a jaunty tune about how much death sucks without grieving a specific person. It’s obnoxious; it’s stupid; it’s utterly pointless.

#7.

What are some of the artists you think of when you think of the worst music of the ‘70s? Many people may have different answers to this question, but there’s at least one artist people can all agree on: Donny Osmond.

#7. I’m Leaving It Up to You (Donny and Marie Osmond) [81; 4; 10 weeks]

I really don’t like picking on easy targets, but ‘Deep Purple’ made it on my ‘worst of ‘76’ list, and this song’s making it on this list. And in my defense, it’s not like I don’t have good reason for this. I just hate everything about Donny Osmond. I hate his obnoxious, cheery wholesomeness; I hate his dorky, stupid hairstyle; I hate his insufferable, grinning face! And every time I see it, I just want to sock him in his perfect teeth!

This particular song isn’t all that noteworthy in terms of his discography, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have issues with it. Like pretty much every pre-1980’s Donny Osmond song, this one was a cover of an older song, this one originally performed by Don Harris and Dewey Terry. Although, while the original version wasn’t exactly great either, it was at least better than this dull turd of a song. And like ‘Deep Purple’, this one was also covered by a different duo prior to Donny and Marie getting their grubby little mitts on it.

All three versions of the song suffer the same problem: they’re all slow and lifeless. The ’74 version is made worse purely because of the performers though. As is expected at this point, they don’t even bother to stick to the lyrics of the original song. Also, while not great performances, Don Harris and Dewey Terry at least sounded like adults when they sang the song; it sounded like it was coming from people that understood how relationships work. Donny and Marie both have the maturity of third graders.

These two had another hit this year, which I decided to let slide because otherwise I’d be crowding this list with too many Osmond songs. Doesn’t make this song suck any less though. Do yourselves a favor folks: don’t leave anything up to Donny Osmond.

#6.

Paul Anka left a very favorable impression on me based on the first song of his I heard, ‘Goodnight My Love’. To my disappointment, when going through his early work, I realized that he started out as the poor man’s Neil Sedaka. That seemed to change around 1963, once the hits dried up, resulting in much better, more emotional songs that sounded like adults wrote them. Then the ‘70s happened, and Paul Anka’s remaining promise dispersed.

#6. One Man Woman—One Woman Man (Paul Anka & Odia Coates) [--; 13; 6 weeks

If there’s one thing I will give Paul Anka credit for, it’s that he grew into a very versatile artist in the ‘60s. He was able to cover a fairly diverse range of subjects. And, to his credit, he does try to step outside of his wheelhouse for this song. Though, considering what it’s about, maybe it would’ve been better if he hadn’t.

If there’s something people have likely noticed throughout these lists, it’s that I’m not big into songs about cheating on one’s lover. Some artists have the charisma to pull it off or justify it, but Paul Anka isn’t one of those artists. He’s too nice for a song like this; I don’t buy that he would be the kind of person to do this.

Even if he were though, there’s a much bigger problem with this song: the fact that neither party involved seemed to learn anything from Paul Anka’s cheating. At no point in the song do he or Odia Coates demonstrate that they felt any kind of investment in the fact that he was cheating. Anka doesn’t seem to honestly regret the fact that he was cheating and Coates doesn’t seem to care. The song claims they’ve moved past it by the end, but there’s no indication that things will change between them.

If Paul Anka’s output hadn’t already started dropping in quality by this point in his career, this might’ve placed higher on this list. In all fairness, I wouldn’t even call this his worst song. As is though, it’s still a huge disappointment coming from an artist I used to like. Moving along!

#5.

So, what could be worse than a song that uses a nursery-rhyme melody as its base? How about a song that is literally based on a nursery rhyme?

#5. Mockingbird (Carly Simon & James Taylor) [52; 5; 13 weeks]

Okay, it’s a children’s lullaby and not technically a nursery rhyme, but the premise still stands. And it looks like this year’s now given us not one, but two terribly corny covers of what were already awful songs. It’s especially disappointing to think that this sappy thing came from Carly Simon and James Taylor, who took themselves seriously on every other song of theirs.

Anyway, let’s look at the music, which is, once again, the tritest sound they could have possibly picked. Isn’t folk music supposed to have some somberness to it? This sounds like it was played for square dancing night at your aunt and uncle’s house, and not even the cool ones either.

And that leaves us with the lyrics and subject matter. The song, like I said, is based around the classic lullaby ‘Hush Little Baby’. See though, that song is about offering your kid various different things in order to get them to shut up and go to sleep. It’s not exactly what works as this jaunty love song about one’s lover buying them things because God knows why. Oh, and they changed the lyrics like pretty much every other cover song I’ve covered so far. The thing is the lyrical changes don’t enhance the song; they just make the singers come across like whiny, spoiled divas. That’s right, folks; if your lover doesn’t buy you shit, that means they don’t love you. So you should shout and scream and cause a ruckus until they do!

I don’t know what else to say about this one. The music’s crap, the lyrics make no sense, and the message is terrible. Then again, considering James Taylor helped perform this, I guess the lack of a positive message shouldn’t surprise me that much. Moving along!

#4.

I hate Ray Stevens! I don’t understand what people found funny about him! His idea of diversity in comedy is trying out a different stupid voice and calling it a day! As a comedian, he’s a black hole; sucking in everything, crushing it into nothing and not allowing anything to escape once it gets close to him! If Ray Stevens’d had ten hits this year, all ten would be on this list! He only had one, so that’s what made the cut!  

#4. The Streak (Ray Stevens) [8; 1; 12 weeks]

I know I’ve already talked about Ray Stevens so my hate for him should be prevalent by now. But as long as I keep covering years where his songs have charted, you’re going to continue hearing about him. So I’ll try to keep this brief.

As is par for the course at this point, the song is built around one barely functioning joke of a premise. This time, it’s that a man keeps running through places completely naked. Because ha ha; naked people are hilarious! Apparently streaking was a big thing at this time, but Stevens jumped on the craze right as it was being put to a stop. I guess the ‘70s were just rife with bizarre trends that were stupid in hindsight; the streaking craze, the trucker craze…

 But let’s step away from the comedy and look at the song on its own merits. It’s still terrible. One of the biggest issues I take with Ray Stevens is that his voice is capable of carrying a melody, yet in most cases he chooses not to. That’s exactly what happens with this song; Stevens tries to perform it all in this horrendous “comedic” voice that can’t hold a tune, even during the chorus, the only time he even bothers trying to sing. The music’s pretty bad too; just this hackneyed music that’s trying to sound funny but just leaves me embarrassed for everyone that had to play this.

Much like with ‘Guitarzan’, I feel like this isn’t Ray Stevens at his worst. It’s still terrible, but I know that Ray Stevens can sink far, far lower than this in terms of quality. It might not have even been that noteworthy if it weren’t for Ray Stevens performing every other song around this time completely straight. In fact, most of his work in the early ‘70s took itself incredibly seriously, which makes this song kind of an odd choice. Not that I’d want to listen to any of those other songs from this time or ever either. Next!

#3.

Well folks, we’ve addressed the small fries; now it’s time to address the largest cob in the bunch. That’s right; I present to you the hokiest song that charted this year:

#3. Jim Dandy (To the Rescue) (Black Oak Arkansas) [--; 25; 6 weeks]

Black Oak Arkansas is an American southern rock band named after their hometown of Black Oak, Arkansas. Their lead singer, Jim “Dandy” Mangrum, is best known for his raspy voice, long hair and wild, sexually explicit onstage antics. However, the bigger name from this band was its drummer around this time, Tommy Aldridge, who most people likely recognize for his work with the Pat Travers Band, Ozzy Osbourne, Gary Moore and Whitesnake, just to name a few. Besides those two star names however, this band had nothing going for it. This song was their biggest hit, one of only two charting singles the band would manage, and it’s devoid of any flavor or energy besides being embarrassing to listen to.

It’s worth noting that this song is yet another cover. The original, performed by R&B singer LaVern Baker, wasn’t too bad, but that’s mainly because it was told from the third person perspective. This song doesn’t lend itself well to being told in the first-person. Too many details in the song require that level of distance for them to not sound egotistical.

Also, the original had a softer, funkier sound to it that carried the melody much more smoothly. This ridiculous, over-the-top rock music is the wrong way to perform a song like this. The result is that it sounds like something one would hear from a band hired to perform at a little kid’s birthday party, undoubtedly embarrassing the poor child.

Back to the topic of ego, I can’t help but notice that a band whose front man is named Jim “Dandy” is performing the song ‘Jim Dandy’. Considering there’s nothing to indicate when or how he got the name, I’d just as soon assume he dubbed himself that when the band decided to cover this song. Either that or he got the name first and decided he just had to cover this song and tell it from his perspective. Regardless, this blows, and if it weren’t for Mangrum’s influence on Van Halen vocalist David Lee Roth and Tommy Aldridge’s success with other acts, Black Oak Arkansas would be completely worthless.

#2.

I’m sorry again folks. I know that the movie soundtrack this song appeared on was pretty successful and popular with people. I myself liked some songs that showed up in this film. That said I am of the mind that anything and everything is capable of disappointing someone. With that in mind, Starlord, your taste in music has been called into question!

#2. Hooked On a Feeling (Blue Swede) [20; 1; 14 weeks]

I realize this is kind of a biased pick because I’ve gone on record as saying I like the original version. I wasn’t even going to place this song this high on the list at first. Then I went back, re-listened to it and the original and realized just how much I hate this cover version. It serves no purpose despite its more frequent appearances in the popular consciousness.

First off, there’s the “ooga chaka” intro. The song’s supposed to be about how great being in love feels. What does the band going “ooga chaka” all over the song do for it? I guess they’re trying to make it sound goofier to make it seem stranger because strange things are more likely to be remembered, but that doesn’t make it a good change. In the band’s defense, they weren’t the ones that originally made this change; Jonathan King did that for his 1971 cover. Of course, why Blue Swede would choose to base their version off of that one instead of B. J. Thomas’s eludes me.

That brings us to the other big problem with this song: front man Björn Skifs. Simply put, the man has the wrong vocals for a song like this. When B. J. Thomas sang it, his softer, more polished vocals made it sound like he was genuinely in love. Skifs, meanwhile, just barrels through the whole thing like a rampaging rhino. He doesn’t even bother to make the words match the original or remotely make sense. And then there’s what he does to the “I” that introduces the chorus. Where B. J. Thomas held that note out, Skifs drops it, which takes away whatever atmosphere there might’ve been.

While Björn Skifs would continue to see success in his homeland of Sweden after this, Blue Swede disappeared after 1975. Yet it’s their version of ‘Hooked On a Feeling’, not B. J. Thomas’s, that people remember to this day. No one ever said the world was a fair place.

#1.

I don’t always like it when my opinion mirrors that of the general public. While these lists are meant to reflect my own musical tastes, I feel like there are points where it can get predictable. Such was the case with my #1 song for this list, which is already regarded by many, not just as a bad song, but as one of the worst songs ever recorded. And once you’ve heard it, I’m sure you’ll understand why. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present the worst hit song of 1974:

#1. (You’re) Having My Baby (Paul Anka) [28; 1; 11 weeks]

Just a reminder folks: my measurement of how bad a song is doesn’t depend solely on how much it pissed me off or absence of good, otherwise ‘The Streak’ or ‘Hooked On a Feeling’ would’ve been my #1. While those are factors, the main decider is what the song’s goal was and how much it failed to achieve it. And hoo boy do we have a song that misses its mark by a wide margin on our hands.

Really, all the problems in this song can be summed up right in the title. “You’re having my baby”. You’re giving birth to a child I consider mine and mine alone. And if that wasn’t enough, the rest of the lyrics dig the hole deeper. “What a lovely way of sayin’/How much you love me”.  And, of course, there’s the bizarre choice to include a line about abortion about halfway through the song. I guess to show that she could have aborted but didn’t because she just loves him that much.

Paul Anka has defended the song, stating that it’s “not meant to alienate anyone” and that he could have said “our” but the other “sounded better”. Yeah, because claiming sole ownership of the child makes you look so much better in this situation, doesn’t it Anka? He’s also stated that it’s meant to be “a love song”. If that’s the goal the song was aiming for, then it fails because of how questionable the lyrical choices were! I know Paul Anka is, or was, better than this! Paul Anka, ‘(You’re) Having My Baby’, worst hit song of 1974.  

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2011

Happy holidays folks! Yeah, I know Christmas has passed by now, but Chanukah is still happening and New Year’s is just around the corner, so I’m counting it. Now then, I hope I didn’t give the impression that I don’t like more modern music on my last list. In some ways, I feel like I enjoy exploring modern music more than earlier music. With older songs, I’m usually out of touch with what they represented and only find out their cultural significance through research. The music of today doesn’t give me this problem; I know exactly what made certain songs as important as they were. I was there too; I witnessed their impact on society. So that makes talking about them much easier.

That’s not the only reason why I felt more comfortable reviewing music from 2011 than I did from 1962. There was also the fact that 2011 was a much better year for the pop charts. Music had a lot more diversity and the seeds of trends from that year would see faster results the following year than those of 1962. Speaking of diversity, trends and the music of the times, honorable mentions! Go!

Roll Up (Wiz Khalifa) [56; 13; 15 weeks]

I didn’t completely understand the appeal of Wiz Khalifa at first. This song, however, gave me a much better understanding of why he became famous. The production on this song is on point, and Wiz’s delivery gives me good reason to believe he can handle the position of the supportive lover figure. Granted, there is still the implication of stealing a girl from her man, but he doesn’t come across as doing it to rub it in the guy’s face or just to get in her pants. It sounds like he seriously does care about this girl’s feelings and seeing her happy. Kind of wish he did more music like this.

Fast Lane (Bad Meets Evil) [--; 32; 1 week]

This song did a much better job at proving a collaboration with Royce da 5’9” could help reinvigorate Eminem’s career. The pair both get equal time in the spotlight, they play off of each other well and the tone seems a lot more in line with Em’s usual presentation. Yet this wasn’t the song that got popular, which is a shame because it runs circles around ‘Lighters’, not just in its more focused tone, but also in the much smoother delivery by the artists on the track. Here’s hoping that, should they collaborate again, they’ll make more music like this.

Love On Top (Beyoncé) [--; 20; 1 week]

Now this is a Beyoncé song I can get behind. Her singing here is fantastic and the song has a nice groove to it. Normally when Beyoncé sings it feels like she’s repeatedly punching someone in the face, unless she’s singing love songs in which case she usually sounds uninvested. She definitely sounds excited and enthusiastic here though. I don’t know if she’s sung a love song this good since ‘Crazy In Love’. Good on you Beyoncé. Here’s hoping you put out more music like this at some point.

Niggas in Paris (Jay-Z & Kanye West) [--; 6; 12 weeks]

Talk about a study in contrast. You wouldn’t think that Jay-Z and Kanye would work well together. Jay-Z tends to exercise an incredible amount of control on his output whereas Kanye’s become infamous for letting out every stupid idea that crosses his mind almost the instant it crosses it. And yet, the pair plays off of each other well here. I guess what really elevates this song are the forces of personalities both artists bring to the table. It’s just a towering pillar of ego that both men are able to make work despite their conflicting presentations, and the song’s lack of a chorus. Also, random Will Ferrell reference!

Marvin’s Room (Drake) [--; 21; 3 weeks]

I have mixed feelings about Drake. I think he’s capable of making decent music, but his output tends to be pretty uneven. That said he does still have songs I like, like this one. I guess what wins me over here is that it must take a lot of guts to deliberately make yourself look this stupid. The difference between this song and ‘Sexy and I Know It’ is this: that song tried to take what was barely a joke and make it seem funny. ‘Marvin’s Room’ is not a joke; it is completely, soul-crushingly serious. This is what I imagine Drake drunk calling someone would sound like.

Now then, I’m on one, so let’s get to it! We’re counting down…

…THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2011!

#10.

#10. Paradise (Coldplay) [--; 15; 10 weeks]

…AND…

#9. Every Teardrop is a Waterfall (Coldplay) [--; 14; 6 weeks]

A while back, I mentioned that I was a Coldplay fan, and that still holds true. I didn’t really keep up with their output after 2005 though. So I ended up skipping past ‘Viva La Vida’, despite it supposedly being everywhere. I finally caught back up with them around 2011 and 2012, when I heard some of their newer music of the time, specifically this first song, ‘Paradise’. I only found out about ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’ some time after the fact; mostly because I found out I really dig the guitar line from that song.

Anyway, ‘Paradise’ is a fairly simple song; it’s about a girl who fantasizes about escaping from the world and going to the titular paradise in her mind. The lyrics are not exactly much to write home about, but then the main focus of the song isn’t in the lyrics. No, the song’s primary focus is in the instrumentation and Chris Martin’s vocals. As is usual, the band is able to set up a really pretty, atmospheric framework on the song that Chris Martin’s falsetto caps off fantastically well. So it’s not that different from most of Coldplay’s other work.

This can definitely not be said of ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’, which is why I placed it a bit higher on the list. According to Chris Martin, this song, and all of the songs on their ‘Mylo Xyloto’ album were about “trying to turn bad things into good things somehow”. I can see that in ‘Paradise’ with its theme of running away to a safe haven in one’s mind. ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’, however, eludes me. It mentions rebel songs and balancing between two trapezes, but it never seems to expand much on either of these things. Much like with ‘Paradise’ though, I don’t think the lyrics actually matter that much; the song’s main driving point is that guitar lick.

I ultimately feel like this was a tie of sorts. I think both songs are equally good for different reasons. ‘Paradise’ is more atmospheric and emotional while ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’ is more iconic and powerful. They’re both at least better than the other song Coldplay released around this time: ‘Princess of China’, which had potential but squandered it. I’ll take these two songs over that any day. Maybe we could try to follow Coldplay’s example and find a way to find something good out of something bad ourselves.

#8.

R&B has certainly gone through a decline over the years. It makes me sad to think we went from such acts as Little Richard, Chuck Berry and Nat King Cole to the disposable nothings of songs from guys like Taio Cruz, Trey Songz, and worse yet, Chris Brown and Jason Derulo. Of course, prior to these losers, and even to some extent today, there was one artist that held the mantle as the male R&B artist of the time. That man’s name was Usher Raymond IV.

#8. More (Remix) (Usher) [61; 15; 16 weeks]

There’s a reason Usher is the only R&B artist today that comes anywhere close to being the next Michael Jackson. Justin Timberlake is a close second, but his work hasn’t been as consistently good. That’s not to say everything Usher’s released has been gold either, but here’s the difference: Justin Timberlake has a much more limited range. Usher’s proven time and again that he’s able to cover numerous different styles and subjects.

There are two things that put this song on the list, the first being Usher himself. Unlike other modern R&B artists, whose vocals are so samey-sounding that I can’t tell one from another, Usher has a very distinct voice. And that voice doesn’t just exude personality; it affirms Usher’s command of the audience. The song doesn’t exactly require deep inspection of the lyrics, but their delivery is still sharp and precise. When Usher says to scream, that isn’t a request; it’s an order.

The other element in this song’s favor is the production, handled here by RedOne. In contrast to his most well known work, this song is a “Hi-NRG” genre song. It’s a subgenre of EDM, which makes it clash with the theme of the album it was on, but work really well as a dance track. In fact, this song almost feels too powerful to be a dance song. Yet the music doesn’t overpower Usher’s vocals; it seems to accent them more. The club dance trend might have been on its way out around this time, but I’m glad Usher managed to squeeze this in before the window closed completely. It’s a masterwork of a song, and it leaves me screaming for more every time.

#7.

Remember when Maroon 5 were a real band? I didn’t think so; neither do I. 2011 was the point when they did away with that and sold out. With ‘Moves Like Jagger’, the band officially gave up trying to write new, original ideas and decided to start copying the formulas of other acts. In all fairness, not everything Maroon 5’s released since 2011 has been terrible. One thing to note though is that the band’s selling out seemed to further propel front man Adam Levine upwards in terms of his prominence in the band, to the point that he even started making guest appearances on other songs. Maybe he should just stick to doing that.

#7. Stereo Hearts (Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine) [36; 4; 20 weeks]

This is probably going to be the hardest song on this list for me to talk about because I’m not entirely sure why I like this song. It was Gym Class Heroes’ biggest hit, and it went four times platinum, despite the album featuring it not even selling 100,000 copies. So that means that someone else obviously liked this song. That said what is it about the song that makes me like it?

While I’m not entirely sure, I’ll at least take a stab at it. For starters, the lyrics describe a man choosing love over animosity. This can be noted at the end of the first verse, where Travie McCoy mentions having been hurt in a previous relationship, but moving past it rather than dwell on it or label the other person as this horrible human being. In addition, the song weaves in these interesting music metaphors, like comparing himself to a dusty record and a 50-pound boom box.

Now, these things are nice, but what I think really catches my attention is Adam Levine on the hook. The production during the verses is pretty choppy and not all that pleasant to listen to, but everything smoothes out when it gets to the chorus. It also helps that this is probably the best Adam Levine has ever sounded. Most Maroon 5 songs see him trying to toe the line between sounding pissy and sounding polished. Here, he sounds earnest and heartfelt, and I think it fits him better.

I wouldn’t call this song perfect. I don’t really like the grinding sound that the music makes during the verses, and the music metaphors seem to make this relationship sound terribly needy. That said I still enjoy listening to this song, certainly more than most of Gym Class Heroes or Maroon 5’s other work. This is one melody that’s definitely sticking in my head for a while, and I don’t take issue with that.

#6.

Apparently the ‘90s didn’t want to see its rappers continue to be successful after that decade. Think about it; how many rappers from this time frame are still alive or relevant today besides possibly Eminem? The ones that didn’t die before the end of the decade just wound up fading into obscurity. Even this next artist can’t really claim to still matter today compared to his prime. Doesn’t mean he still didn’t release a good song this year.

#6. Coming Home (Diddy—Dirty Money ft. Skylar Grey) [38; 11; 21 weeks]

I feel kind of awkward putting P. Diddy on this list because most of the songs people likely remember of his aren’t very good. It seems like his better songs are the ones that didn’t get big. So that makes this song an oddity amidst his output. I’ve said before that I’m not a fan of “being famous sucks” songs, and this one has some of the same elements I normally don’t like about them, yet it doesn’t bother me as much. Why is that?

For starters, Diddy manages to do what R. Kelly’s ‘I Wish’ failed at: balancing between talking about the death of a friend and providing specific examples about how fame has affected him. This song tries to tackle real issues that have come with fame rather than spitting out generalizations. Furthermore, the song also manages to balance out the pessimism of the first two verses with a very optimistic final verse and chorus.

Speaking of the chorus, let’s look at that next. The singers here speak of returning home, which could represent finding redemption for one’s past mistakes, seeking peace with oneself after so long away from home and moving on from the loss of Biggie Smalls. God knows Diddy could stand to; many of his previous songs have brought up the subject. It also helps that all three singers sound fantastic. Dawn Richard and Kalenna Harper work well with carrying the melody, but I’d be lying if I said Skylar Grey’s backing vocals didn’t add to it also.

More than anything, I get a sense of hope from this song. It represents seeking peace by returning to the familiar, and it paints that image beautifully. When I’m feeling optimistic or positive, this is the song I listen to. Your kingdom awaits Diddy, and they’ve forgiven your mistakes.

#5.

Much like with the worst list, the upper half of this list is going to get pretty predictable. And I don’t think there was a more obvious song I could’ve chosen for this list than this one.

#5. Rolling In the Deep (Adele) [1; 1; 43 weeks]

Now that I think about it, maybe this’ll be the hardest song for me to talk about, considering everyone else has already discussed it. 2011 was kind of a transitional year for music. Many changes came about this year that would affect the shape of pop music up to today. Most of the positive changes can be traced back to Adele, and especially to this song.

First, let’s look at the production. The best way I can think of to describe ‘Rolling In the Deep’ is that it’s like a well-constructed machine, and I mean that in all the best ways. Every single element to the song serves a specific purpose, and to take away even one of them would ruin the experience. From the guitar licks at the beginning building up the song, to the stomping percussion that drives it forward, to the backing vocals that add to its atmosphere, every part of the song comes into place exactly when it needs to.

Now then, let’s look at the thing everyone else has brought up about the song: its tone. Just prior to this song’s release, most songs on the radio had a curious soullessness to them where they didn’t seem to exude very much emotion. The emotions on this song are quite tangible, however, and justly so. It was apparently written about an ex-boyfriend that told Adele that her life would amount to nothing, and the song is just Adele venting her anger at being told that. I compared this song to ‘Since U Been Gone’ before, but I don’t think even that song could match ‘Rolling In the Deep’s righteous fury.

Ever since this song’s release, other artists have tried desperately to capture its magic. I don’t think any of them have come close though; no other songs since this one have managed to achieve the same fire it did. I don’t even think Adele’s follow up single ‘Someone Like You’ managed it. Some of the changes to the pop music scene that came from this year can be debated where they originated, but the part that sought emotional depth and intensity unquestionably stemmed from here.

#4.

Lady Gaga appears to have been a victim of her own high standards. Back in 2011, it seemed like she would be a big name artist that would last. Fast forward five years later, however, and it looks her career’s puttering out. Part of that could be because she wasn’t able to keep up with the changing trends, or that her scope is a lot more limited than we gave her credit for. Still, I can understand why she left such a lasting impression: because she was a seriously gifted artist, and it’s songs like this that proved it.

#4. The Edge Of Glory (Lady Gaga) [29; 3; 22 weeks]

If there’s something I’ve come to discover when putting these lists together, it’s that I really love bombast in my music. And I’m not sure I can think of a better word to describe the tone of this song. I like plenty of Lady Gaga’s songs, and I’d have a hard time picking out her best, but this one would have to rank pretty high on that list.

First, there’s Lady Gaga’s singing, easily one of her best vocal performances. Rather than trying to go for the weird-sounding vocals like off of ‘Bad Romance’ or ‘Pokerface’, this one just sounds grand and powerful. The lyrics aren’t much to write home about, but they’re not the main focus here. This song isn’t trying to be a deep think piece; it’s just trying to sound awesome.

That brings us to the other big element on this song: the instrumentation. It’s easily what makes this song. Between the organ breakdown after the first chorus, the guitar stab right before the final chorus and the amazing saxophone solo courtesy of the late Clarence Clemons, this entire song gives off this grandiose atmosphere that won me over in seconds. There’s a bit of a cheesy quality to it, but it’s the good kind of cheesy.

Lady Gaga’s dying grandfather inspired the song, specifically in this one moment when she said he looked at her grandmother with an expression saying he’d won at life. That’s the general feeling I get from listening to this song: winning at life. It’s a song that expresses the joy of living and having no regrets as it comes to a close. In that sense, it’s pretty similar to Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’. I still consider that the better song between the two since it was told from the perspective of someone that had experienced all that life had to offer. Doesn’t stop ‘The Edge of Glory’ from being a damn good song though.

#3.

Kanye West is a jackass. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…

#3. All of the Lights (Kanye West ft. Rihanna) [59; 18; 16 weeks]

I think all the controversy and making an ass of himself has made people forget that Kanye West is a talented producer and rapper. Yes, even after he became more mainstream and his success went to his head his work remained fantastic. This song in particular is a shining example of what Kanye’s capable of at his best.

Let’s start by focusing on the lyrics. The straightforward message of the song is a story about an abusive boyfriend being sent to jail, being replaced, losing custody of his daughter and, as a result, his sanity. A deeper examination, however, reveals that it could also be Kanye’s telling of his own struggles with fame, particularly after the incident with Taylor Swift. The first verse’s opening line being about the death of Michael Jackson only helps to confirm this.

Production-wise, this song is a goddamn masterpiece. Unlike, say, ‘Country Girl (Shake It For Me)’, which was composed of various musical elements that clashed with each other, all the elements in this song connect with each other seamlessly, and build on the atmosphere of a man losing his mind. In addition, the vocal feature credited to Rihanna alone is actually fourteen performers brought on to contribute their own segments of the song, including Kid Cudi, Alicia Keys, Elly Jackson of La Roux, Drake, Fergie, John Legend, The-Dream and Elton John.

For all everyone seems to make fun of Kanye for how much he embarrasses himself, I think it’s only fair that he be given credit where it’s due. It is a shame the guy does these things to himself, but at least he’s able to make good music out of it. Let’s just hope he can tone down the controversy and maintain the quality of his work…

#2.

A common trait all my friends seem to share is that almost none of them like rap or hip hop music, and I don’t blame them. The genre doesn’t have a good reputation, and tends to attract some of the most unpleasant people. Still though, I don’t think it’s fair to be that dismissive of the genre. There are plenty of hip-hop and rap songs about things besides bragging, dance songs and sex jams. I’ve already listed examples of good rap music on this list and previous lists! And if that’s not enough, let me just add one more:

#2. The Show Goes On (Lupe Fiasco) [28; 9; 23 weeks]

There are some artists that sell out and it’s the clumsiest, worst thing that could’ve happened to them. Others, however, can still manage to pump out quality material despite caving into the demands of studio hacks, and that’s what we have here. Lupe Fiasco has stated that he hates this song and the record company forced him to do it. It certainly does feel like it, and it’s not exactly his best work, but I’d take this over most hip-hop we get nowadays.

To begin with, let’s talk about the production. The song heavily samples ‘Float On’ by Modest Mouse, and the sample fits with the song perfectly. Instead of the demented optimism prevalent in the original, ‘The Show Goes On’ plays it straight, offering a loud, bombastic song that sounds much more uplifting than any other rap song from this year. And a wonderfully used horns section that helps hammer the song’s message accents that.

That brings us to the lyrics and subject matter. On a basic level, it’s your usual self-empowerment anthem, encouraging people from every walk of life, from those in the suburbs to those in the ghettos, to keep chasing their dreams and not let people push them down. The first verse adds a little more to that though, specifically bringing up the feud between Lupe and Atlantic Records, who had repeatedly delayed and tried to ban his third album ‘Lasers’ because he wouldn’t sign their 360 deal. So, if nothing else, Lupe at least got to call out Atlantic Records on their shit and make everyone hear it.

If nothing else, Lupe getting his biggest hit should be enough indication of just how good a year 2011 was for pop music. ‘Coming Home’ might be the song I listen to when I’m feeling optimistic, but this song makes me feel optimistic. And yet, it was only my #2 for this list. Want to know what I thought was better?

#1.

Much like hip-hop, it feels like country music has been declining in quality for years now. That’s especially apparent nowadays with the country charts populated by the likes of Luke Bryan and Florida Georgia Line. People might point to Taylor Swift as the source of the decline, but honestly, she’s benign. Country music had been declining in quality for years before she arrived, and despite what people say, she has released some good songs. We’re not going to be talking about Taylor Swift today though; the country song we’ll be looking at right now is one that I feel represents the genre much better than Taylor Swift could’ve ever hoped to.

#1. Colder Weather (Zac Brown Band) [99; 29; 6 weeks]

One way a song can place on the list is if it pleasantly surprises me. Such was the case with ‘Colder Weather’, which is a fine showcase of country music’s best qualities. It also helps that the Zac Brown Band are such a versatile group compared to most country acts nowadays.

As far as the music goes, the production is fairly straightforward. However, it’s the simplicity of it that works in the song’s favor. The song needs that bare bones sound to set up the atmosphere, and it carries it beautifully. This might be the most subtly beautiful song to chart this year. What truly wins me over for this song is the piano, especially during the chorus. That said, the other elements are what elevate the song: the bass, the guitar licks, the percussion, the fiddle; each comes in one at a time as the song progresses, and that helps gradually build it up to the outro. Yet it feels less like a song that’s all build-up with no pay off; that quieter final section is a powerful climax.

Then there’s the lyrics and subject matter. Country music’s greatest strength has always been its attention to detail, and the details in this song paint an almost painfully clear image. The story speaks of a man who is driven to travel and how it strains his relationship with the woman he addresses in the chorus, to whom he makes various excuses to justify his actions, but she won’t have any of it. Songwriter Wyatt Durrette and the strained relationship he was in with a girl due to timing and geography inspired this and it definitely feels like the song came from somewhere real.

It’s a shame we don’t get country songs like this on the pop charts anymore because we could definitely stand to see more from the Zac Brown Band on Billboard nowadays. Occasionally we see country artists trying to tackle deeper subject matters, but even then they don’t really hit the mark. Certainly don’t come close to doing so the way ‘Colder Weather’ does. And that is why it is my choice for the #1 hit song of 2011.